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Holy Watermelon

Holy Watermelon

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Welcome to the Holy Watermelon podcast, where a Christian and an atheist talk about the weird and wonderful things that people do because of what they believe. It's a show about religious studies. Join us, Katie and Preston, as we dive into the world of comparative religion. We use humor and research to have real, challenging, and uproarious conversations about the world's religious traditions and behaviors. If you're interested in religious studies, learning about other people and cultures, ...
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Katherine Spallino is the author of The Bad Cadet, a memoir of her days as a child-slave to the secretive Scientologist "Sea Org." Before she joined the Sea Org officially, Katherine was raised away from her family in a boarding school for cursed and abandoned children, part of the last batch permitted by the Sea Org before they banned Sea Org memb…
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Bonnie Lu Nettles and Marshall Herff Applewhite, Jr. founded what is known today as Heaven's Gate, a fantastic group of UFO enthusiasts and religious believers. Though they both came from a Christian background in Texas, the mystery of Area 51 affected their daily lives to the very end. Nettles was a nurse, and Applewhite was a pastor, but they sha…
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Apotheosis is the process of becoming a god, and that gift isn't always limited to the dead. Some classic examples include Asclepius, Ariadne, and Glaucus. Apotheosis also appears in the Abrahamic tradition, in a varity of manifestations, including the Alawite tradition, which elevates Ali ibn Abi Talib to godhood. We examine the diference between …
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Euhemerism is essentially the hypothesis that many of the gods who have been celebrated throughout history may not have been simple fabrications but real people around whom great myths developed and grew to legendary proportions. Euhemerus was a fellow who entertained and educated with tales of how the old gods of Hellenic (Greek) tradition were or…
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Ever wonder why we bother with the groundhog, or horseshoes, or four-leaf clovers? Have you noticed city employees relying on divining rods to find your water leak? Where do all these superstitions come from, and how do they manage to linger in our science-powered information age? All these questions have answers, and we've tracked them down for yo…
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Zarathustra is the mythical hero at the foundation of Mazdaism, and thus it is better known as Zoroastrianism. Because ancient sources disagree on when this camel herder lived, it's nearly impossible to prove that he ever did, though there must have been an original founder of this ancient Persian religious tradition, the man's true name is certain…
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Frank McMahon served in the VATICAN. Now, he's joining us to talk about his experience with Playboy, puberty, alcohol abuse, Buddhism, and the things he loved about his service with the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate, as well as why he left, and the things he hopes to see change in the church. We talk about Frank's favorite and least favorit…
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St. Nicholas' Day has passed, but we're not done with Christmas visitors yet. Santa has taken a few different forms over the centuries, and he's got an army of companions and alternates, too. Santa Claus takes inspiration from a variety of European folk traditions, and many of these old traditions have survived with modifications in the Christian e…
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There's no shortage of saints with questionable careers, even during their "faithful years." For others, we might be looking at people who never existed. Let's explore more saints who might not deserve such exalted status. We can say with almost rock solid certainty that Saint Vernoica never existed. She is famed for the veil that bears the imprint…
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Andrew Penner grew up in the Mennonite tradition of the Anabaptist movement. The Anabaptists have a colorful history of subversion from the Catholic Church, despite their commitment to pacifism. There's an awful lot to learn on these subjects, including the connection with the Amish and Hutterite branches, as well as the variation within the Mennon…
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As we close out the spooky season, it's time to talk about Puritanism and the extremism that led to witch hunts and barbaric murders of innocents. The Puritan movement was born from the Church of England, with the idea that King Henry VIII and the new English national episcopalian congregation hadn't reformed nearly enough after breaking away from …
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Halloween is--despite what you might hear from your local evangelical group--a Christian holiday... kinda. There's a lot to it, and there are layers of syncretism to dig through, but just under the secular (not-technically-pagan) veneer of sugar and chocolate, is a thick layer of juicy Christian religious expression. All Saints' Day on the old cale…
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We've really enjoyed doing this show together, and we've learned a lot. It's time to reflect on the foundation we've built. The natures of knowledge and belief are tricky philosophical concepts, and the motives any person might have for believing anything or claiming knowledge are as varied as anything else in human behaviour. We answer audience qu…
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Canada's National Day for Truth and Reconciliation is right around the corner, and we've decided to interrupt our regular programming in favour of an interview with Cheryl Whiskeyjack from Bent Arrow Traditional Healing Society, and some important First Nations Stories. Canada's name is derived from an old word for village, making us the nation of …
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If you think you know Mormonism, this one's for you. We examined the origins of the Latter Day Saints last month, and now we're taking a look at the men that led the Mormons in various divisions. There was a nonet of splinter groups that left the early Mormon Church before the assassination of Joseph Smith, but some of them shouldn't really count, …
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Brigham Young gets a lot of credit as the "American Moses," but it's nothing compared to the work Joseph Smith did to earn that title. Moses led the people for many years, from place to place, but he never entered the Promised Land--like Joseph Smith. Joshua was the one who led the final trek into their new home--THAT'S Brigham's parallel. The Latt…
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Lost books include apocryphal literature from heretics, grifters, and entrapment-dodging translators, but there's also genuine works that were abridged or edited later, allowing the originals to disappear in the fog of disuse. Some books are lost because their religious traditions and communities have died out or were pushed underground, and other …
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Staring Down the Canon might be intimidating for some, but now that we've explored several holy texts, we're ready to talk about the nature of scriptural authority and how texts are measured against one another within religious traditions. Books are a great way to preserve knowledge, testimony, and prophecy, but its imperative that readers remember…
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The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is one of the best books of religious satire released this century, and maybe it will hold that status for a while--only time will tell. After a serious look at the most revered books on the planet, it's time to lighten things up with the Pastafarians and their book that contains approximately as many cont…
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The Book of Mormon has a better story than you might think, though not quite what you might have heard in Stone & Parker's musical of the same name. Rather than a tome of collected works, each the subject of contentious discussion in council, The Book of Mormon is an abridgement of a continuous historical record, with a couple appendices of origina…
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What is the Granth Sahib? What is the Adi Granth? The Guru Granth Sahib is the last and eternal Guru, an authoritative collection of sacred verses from not only the greatest Sikh leaders, but also from faithful Muslims and Hindus. Like other sacred texts, this collection has an interesting history, including a contested editorial process. Who are t…
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What is the Quran? It is among the most published texts in the world, and among the most vilified in the global west. Who was really responsible for the book as we know it today, and how did imperial power play into its history? Why is it that so many interpretations of the text are considered authoritative, and what efforts were made to ensure the…
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The Christian New Testament is a tiny collection of letters, and a small handful of modestly interdependent testimonies of a personal Jesus from a small town in the unnamed northern province (now known as Galilee). The outliers are almost as valuable as the more orthodox materials. The Bible consists of four biographies, some of which show more int…
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The Hebrew Bible is not the same thing as the Imperial Christian Old Testament (though it's very similar to the protestant version), but there are many different ways people draw value from these books. The Torah is not the same thing as the Old Testament: it is the 5 books classically attributed to Moses. For some who adhere to an Abrahamic faith,…
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The Bhagavad Gita is one of the most religiously important pieces of Indian literature, a segment of the longest poem ever written: the Mahabharata has 1.8 million words. The origin of The Song of God is obscured a little by time, but it certainly predates the Christian scriptures, though its form was finalized after the Biblical Canon. Vishnu is s…
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Every spring, we celebrate the return of greenery and migratory birds, and the blooming of flowers; most animals celebrate by having lots of sex. Some of us get really religious about it. Easter is the celebration of fertility and renewed life, and every part of the secular observance reflects this. Several gods through a wide variety of traditions…
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Dr. Wes Thiessen isn't just a great storyteller, he's a conflict resolution expert, and he's here to tell us about Sharia Law, its history, its real world function in Muslim communities, and why it shouldn't make anybody nervous. Islam is not monolithic, and neither is the study of law. The Golden Rule is extremely important in most legal cases, an…
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What qualifies a man to lead the Ummah? Islam, like any religious tradition, is not monolithic. Let's explore the history of schisms and the personalities behind them in the early Islamic period. After Muhammad's death in 632 CE, there was a succession crisis; for some, it was a bigger crisis than for others. The first to be elected to take over le…
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Sex and sexuality among believers isn't as monolithic as you might think, and of course there's the outlying "bad actors" to keep this spectrum broad. The Torah has some strict rules about who Jewish men should avoid, but isn't too quick to prescribe punishment for premarital sex. The Christian New Testament has some rules about minding your own bu…
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It's the season of love, but the man we know as St. Valentine is a bit of a mystery, lost to time, and almost certainly an amalgamation of two or more men. Valentinus was a big fan of romantic love, as the story goes, but there's more to be unraveled. Valentine's relics are scattered all over the planet, many of them in wax-sealed paper bags, which…
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Sometimes it's hard to know who to believe, sometimes it isn't: Do you believe the person who has studied the finest details of physical health and wellness for upwards of a decade, or do you trust your pastor who thinks that God couldn't possibly reveal those secrets to anybody willing to test such principles? Unfortunately, that's the dichotomy w…
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There might be nothing more American than the emergence of Capitalist Jesus and the Prosperity Gospel. This episode explores the men behind the phenomenon, and the scriptural passages that are abused to defend it. Not all Pentecostal Christians fall into this trap, but these pastors have millions of followers around the world. Many of them are fund…
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In this episode, we interview Jack Hopewell, who stars as Jesus Christ in the 50th Anniversary Tour of Jesus Christ Superstar. When Jesus Christ Superstar came out 50 years ago, it was controversial: the musical doesn’t depict the resurrection, it's sympathetic to Judas, it takes the position of predestination (Judas was required to betray Jesus). …
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You don't get many holidays that are more Christian than Christmas, right? The celebration of the birth of Jesus on December 25th is second only to Easter as far as Christian holidays go. But what if we told you that a lot of what we do is borrowed? Did you know that many of the Christmas traditions we know and love have roots in other cultures and…
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Deism may sound a lot like theism, and while they’re etymologically the same, the belief systems are more nuanced. In this episode, we deep dive into Deist belief and its rise to popularity in the 17th and 18th centuries. We explain the core belief of the initial creator, but he’s not around anymore—kind of like the dad that left for a pack of smok…
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The cult of Jim Jones, known as the Peoples Temple, is only one of many dangerous groups to deliberately shuffle off their mortal coils in large concerted efforts, but theirs was the most impactful. They are famous for "Drinking the Kool-Aid," an unfortunate and insensitive misnomer... After leading his church to Guyana, in 1978 they became the vic…
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Is there any truth to the anti-semitic conspiracy theories that Kanye and your weird uncle have been muttering for years? Probably not, but let's take a look at the seed that grew into such an ugly tree. Israel hasn't enjoyed its current form for very long, but there was a not-so-secret plan in place long before the Allied Forces established the na…
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Trickster gods are often depicted as malevolent, or as plucky antihero sidekicks (looking at you, Loki). Some are more benevolent, seeking to teach through the medium of struggle. Tricksters can lead even the pious off their course, sometimes to test their wills, or to teach them a better way to live. Join us as we explore the great tricksters of t…
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Monsters play a huge role in most of the old religions. From Jormungandr to Leviathan, monsters can embody chaos, or they can protect sacred ground. Generally, they are used to instill obedience in people, but sometimes they simply help to explain why the world is a mess. Join us as we dive into the realm of religious traditions surrounding chaos m…
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We've explored the fallacy of pagans and atheists bowing to Satan, and outlined some of the "Satanist" groups that don't believe he's a real personality. Now let's look at the real deal: the folks who genuinely worship a living Satan. Even with these groups, it's probably not what you would expect. Most of these groups grow out of a resentment for …
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This week, we're talking with Dr. Glen Fairen, PhD, a religious studies professor at Oklahoma State University. The Viking shares with us the work he's been doing, and some of his research might surprise you. His work includes scholarship on the Qumran and Nag Hammadi groups, as well as the realm of witchcraft. Join us for a great discussion. This …
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Freemasonry, the oldest fraternal organization in the world, has some deeply rooted religious traits, and an odd don't-ask-don't-tell relationship with the Church of Rome. The national mythology of the whole democratic world celebrates men who have been initiated into its sacred rites, and countless exposés have been published, yet there's still an…
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Fascism has earned an ugly name over the last century, no question about it. Some religions lean into it, some look forward to a day when it can be openly celebrated, especially in monotheistic traditions. This week, we're exploring what it really means to be inside, to see fascism differently than what history has shown us. Straight out of the mou…
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Religious communism isn't just for the weird new cult that bought up a farm down the road. People often forget, especially in the west, that Christianity was strictly communist in the first century, and that the Jewish nation from which they were born enjoyed a tightly regulated, moderately socialist dictatorship. Join us for an exploration of thes…
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This week we have the pleasure of interviewing another friend. Vernon Boldick shares with us the details of his journey preparing to enter the seminary and the priesthood of the Catholic church, only to find his faith shaken. Spoiler alert: Today he's an atheist. The journey is what we're here for. This interview continues on Patreon You can also w…
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The puritanical roots of western colonialism may have obscured this for some, but several religious traditions are tightly tied to the use of hallucinogenic substances. Some may find that their origins are reliant on them. In this week's episode, we explore the phenomenon, as well as a quick survey of those who might protest too much... and this ti…
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After a brief look at the occult last fall, we're taking a closer look at the Hermetic tradition, including some of the most popular literature on hermeticism and a survey of some of the sources behind the mythical figure of Hermes Trismegistus. We explore some of the pseudepigraphical writings like the Emerald Tablet, the Corpus Hermeticum, and th…
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There's some misunderstanding surrounding celibacy, so we're going to explore why it's such a prominent part of the Imperial Christian Priesthood, and we'll take a look at some of the damage that the policy has caused. We've made a point of keeping the trauma-triggers to the later portion of the show, so everybody can enjoy the more interesting bit…
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Looking again to Katie's Irish roots, the Troubles of Northern Ireland are a fascinating example of how religion gets tied to conflict. But is it really a religious conflict? What are the prerequisites for such a label. How much is religion really a part of the problem. Join us for an exploration of the history behind the Troubles, and the people w…
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Scientology gets a lot of bad press (and most of it is hard to refute), but we're going to shed a little light on the sci-fi religion of L Ron Hubbard, and explore the aspects of this authoritarian cultus that make it so enticing to initiates and so terrifying to survivors. What happened to Shelly Miscavige? Why is Tom Cruise reported to be leaving…
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