When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa
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TFMR: Termination for Medical Reasons. It's a particularly devastating type of baby loss, where parents are forced to make a "choice" that isn't really a choice at all.
Meet Alyssa, Adelyn's mom. She had to have a TFMR procedure to interrupt Adelyn's pregnancy in summer of 2022, right in the midst of Roe v. Wade being overturned here in the U.S. The fear and confusion surrounding her daughter's death added additional trauma to an already horrific loss.
Studies show that there are about 14 TFMRs every single day in the United States, making it twice as common as stillbirth... yet it is rarely talked about. Anecdotally, we have spoken to many loss parents who underwent a TFMR -- Alyssa included -- but didn't even know that there was a word for it, that there is a community of people who have had to make the same devastating choice, and that even though they made a decision to terminate a wanted pregnancy, they still deserve to grieve their baby's loss.
TFMR is baby loss. For more on this topic, listen to last year's TFMR Awareness Day episode, our interview with Alina's friend Jill.
TFMR is Baby Loss, an Interview with Hadley's Mom Jill
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Resources for TFMR Parents:
- Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
- Petals Charity (UK)
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
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