The Modern Mum Needs A New Village

Mummying and Thriving

Motherhood today is very different from what it was before. Sure, we go through the same process, conceiving, being pregnant for about 40 weeks, giving birth, breastfeeding, tacking tantrums and raising these little humans to be well-adjusted adults.

But in reality, so many things have changed in our fast-growing, technologically advancing world. How we parent now differs from how our parents and grandparents looked after us.

According to Dr, Harvey Karp, he states that "No woman has ever had to do as much, on her own, as the modern mother. We don't have the same family or neighbourhood structure anymore.'

The key word here is ON HER OWN.
In the last decade, there has been steep growth in self-help and awareness around childhood trauma has meant that we now have a higher standard of parenting, but our support system(Village) has grown smaller. The excess stress and pressure from everyday life as well as social media platforms have led to an increase in maternal mental health issues.

Here are four things we can do to mitigate this situation. I have named this FAST.
F A STing is a spiritual practice many cultures agree is beneficial as it cleanses and gives clarity. We aren't discussing fasting today, but I think this acronym has a nice right to it.

So F means

· Find a new village- This can be in the form of car sharing, troubles and triumphs and taking turns for babysitting so that you can have the odd date night. Your village can also be virtual. I am part of absolutely remarkable facebook groups for mums where people ask questions on any topic, and the responses are very supportive and helpful.

· Ask for help—Everyone needs help and support. You aren't weak when you ask for help. On the contrary, it may be one of the bravest things you do. Knowing you are struggling or have an area of weakness, then seeking help to solve the issue is brave. If you can afford it, pay for help. Either a nanny or a cleaner that can come a few times a week to help you around the house.

· Set aside some time daily for self-care. This may be about 30mins- 1 hour, where you aren't doing anything for anyone except yourself. I know mums who get up 30 minutes earlier so they can have that time alone in the morning to work out, meditate, or do yoga. It could seem like a lot, but prioritizing this rejuvenates you to handle your responsibilities.

It could even be a 30 mins nap, a spa date, or even a home facial. Do what you feel you need to do to recuperate. Call a friend that you know can make you laugh. Laughter is therapeutic.

· Talk to someone. If you find yourself feeling low or even unclear about certain things, talk to someone. Talk to a therapist and get medical help from a healthcare professional. You will be surprised how many people are in a similar situation.

https://open.spotify.com/show/2jcvzwY2fO57JRr0XlEElr?si=49e2d8afb5dc4d72