126. Birthdays, Anniversaries & Milestones After a Life-Limiting Diagnosis

The Joyful Mourning - A Podcast for Women Who Have Experienced Pregnancy or Infant Loss

Meg Walker joins me to talk about navigating milestones and important dates after the loss of a baby due to a life-limiting diagnosis. She shares with us what those milestone and important or difficult dates are for her. Specifically we spend some time talking about her son’s diagnosis day and what that looks like for her every year -- as Meg says “that’s the before and after for me -- the day everything changed.”

Meg talks about what has surprised her about navigating those milestone days, how she plans for those days and how she cares for herself amidst the more difficult seasons in her calendar year and practically what those days look like for her. How she celebrates her son’s birthday, why she doesn’t sing happy birthday and how she grieves on the anniversary of his diagnosis. She also shares helpful wisdom about knowing when to include others and inviting them into these days.

And as you heard at the beginning of this episode, my favorite part of this episode is when Meg reminded all of that no matter what we as grieving moms do, whether we plan elaborate events or cry in our bed or do nothing out of the ordinary at all on those milestone or important days, what we do or don’t do doesn’t take away from how important and meaningful our babies are.

This conversation is honest and candid and very tender to both of us as you will hear -- we both share what we have learned over the past few years and how our view of milestone days have changed, mistakes we have made, false pressures we have put on ourselves, what still feels hard but also the beautiful moments we have experienced.

FREE GUIDE

Last week, in episode 125, Erica McAfee talked about how she writes her son a letter on his birthday as a tangible way to mother him and celebrate him and also to grieve on that day. This was such practically helpful and tangible advice that I wanted you to be able to incorporate it into your milestones and important dates too. I created a writing guide for you that you can download and use on days that feel particularly important -- this is not just for birthdays but for any date where you want to intentionally spend time reflecting on your baby or processing your grief or simply to spend time tangibly mothering your baby. Download the guide here: www.themorning.com/letter

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