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Copulators Die First

Copulators Die First

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Boo, we give Scream Queens a WHOLE new meaning! Ash and Nick are life-long friends (and homosexuals) obsessed with horror movies and everything creepy/crazy/cool! Every other week they'll feature a new scary movie that will be examined from their gay perspectives while they read that film to filth! Nothing and no one is safe - especially those horny teenagers! On the off weeks, they'll bring you Paranormal Pansies - a rainbow-colored examination of the macabre and paranormal! So - grab some ...
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Nick and Ash are back to discuss not only the political status of America (ahhhh!!!), but a fun little diddy of an anthology movie which includes mystery octopus monsters, awkward spousal murder, red eyed, cremated demon children, and most importantly PENIS EXPLOSION!--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdie…
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Ash and Nick are back! Finally! With Spooky Season already well underway, they catch up and dive into a new episode about a new Shudder Original for your hearing pleasure. (Not sponsored by Shudder, but hit us up BBs!) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message…
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The boo crew is back and discussing Session 9! Ash & Nick have an impromptu but completely necessary therapy session, they reminisce on life before the pandemic, and they wonder - truly wonder - if Chinese food is any good in the greater Massachusetts area. All this and more on this week's episode of CDF! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcas…
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Hey Pumpkins,Sorry for the short hiatus but things have been CRAZY over here at CDF. Big news: Paranormal Pansies is coming over to CDF as a permanent biweekly rainbow-colored paranormal fixture. This week, listen in to the latest Paranormal Pansies topic!--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/messag…
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In these unprecedented times, we have a very special guest episode for you! This week, we sit down with real-life Witch and all-around lovely human, Bree NicGarran! We tackle two of our favorite witchy films, The Craft (again!) and Practical Magic with tangents galore! We love our favorite Witchy Woman :)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcast…
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Caleb from Horror Soup Podcast is in the audio lab with us this week discussing his pick, Dolls! We’re talking about Judy and her night of toy terror with some good Judy’s! Judy’s talking Judy!--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message
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For this VERY special episode of CDF, we hang out with our new best friends - the men behind the upcoming film Death Drop Gorgeous! We discuss their movie, all of the spooky gay things it will deliver (drag queens and death!), and then we all share our favorite things about a movie that was one of their inspirations, Spookies! We’re super excited a…
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OMG, Pumpkins! It’s the first official episode of Paranormal Pansies! Ash takes a dive into the history and inner workings of Ouija boards! Nick is scared of them. Find Paranormal Pansies on Instagram @paranormalpansiespod and on all podcast platforms! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message…
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HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY TO US, PUMPKINS! That’s right, it’s CDF’s 1 year pod-iversary, and we thought the only way to properly celebrate was to cover the other movie we discussed in our first episode - The Exorcist! It’s one of our all-time favorite spooks, and Ash’s number 1! We do some good old deep-diving, we go off on tangents, there’s a few good Ju…
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Happy New Year, Pumpkins! Let’s ring in 2020 with the last CDF episode of the decade! May we be able to leave husbands with no background checks, sub-par police work, harsh blush, and emotionally disturbed children with mommy issues in 2019! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message…
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What else says “Holiday Cheer” like spending time with your estranged grandparents while your mom goes on a booze cruise? Let’s up the ante - Pop Pop has a dirty diaper collection and Nana might be possessed by little lake aliens? Oh, and let’s make it extra spicy - these aren't your grandparents at all! Tune in for a fun discussion and some very s…
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The holiday season is in full swing, and what better way could Ash and Nick (with special guest Sarah!) get in the spirit than discussing the horrors of Black Friday, on an episode that drops on Cyber Monday? Consumerism, man. What an ugly beast. Sarah requested we cover Chopping Mall, and this little ditty fits in perfectly with our it’s better to…
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Nick and Ash cut right to the chase with this one. It’s a special night radio version of CDF, and they’ve got no time to waste and no shits to give. Who would you Boink, Marry, Kill if your choices are a 300 year old witch, a cat, or a boring old dude in a sweater?--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefir…
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The Gang is back in action after a small hiatus with all new thrills and chills to delight your spooky souls! So, um...Orphan. What an exercise in recognizing red flags. Nick and Ash explore what it means for a film to truly make you uncomfortable down to your very core, because, well, kids are downright creepy. Especially when they aren't actually…
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Pumpkins, Nick and Ash did it! For the finale of Homoween 2019, we finally do a full length episode dedicated to the film that started it all for horror fans everywhere - John Carpenter’s Halloween! Nick and Ash try something new as far as format, so stick with em, because good things are coming :)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spo…
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On this third week of Homoween, Ash and Nick take a look at one of their absolute favorite movies of all time - horror or not! Nick does his best to give the performance of a lifetime as he dramatically reads the IMDB synopsis (with tangents and opinions inserted occasionally - duh). He's available for all types of voice over work - commercials, im…
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It’s our first listeners choice episode! By a landslide, Nick and Ash are trying something different and reviewing a horror movie that’s brand new for this Homoween season! Listen in as your favorite hosts breakdown Eli Roth's newest scare-fest! It’s not great, but it’s good - which is a compliment for horror movies. With tangents galore, and an ex…
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To officially kick off the Homoween season, Nick and Ash take on the Disney classic Hocus Pocus! It may not technically be a horror movie, but it is definitely the ultimate suburban Halloween, crunchy leaves, which house gives out full candy bars, cozy Fall with chunky sweaters and apple cider movie. And this is definitely our podcast and not yours…
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Oh, hi! We’re just casually kicking off spooky season with one of our favorite spooky ladies! Listen in - because it’s just the beginning of our favorite time of year! We’re celebrating strong women, discussing the importance of Halloween candy, and anticipating all of the awesome spooks and boos to come for HOMOWEEN!--- Send in a voice message: ht…
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As we round home base on our Fact Vs Film series for September, we go a different direction with our horror obsession. We’re tackling our first urban legend and the movie inspired by the book, inspired by the legend! That bump in the night? Is there something - SOMEONE - tapping at your window in the dark? Is it the boogeyman or something else enti…
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As we enter September, it’s back to school, pumpkins! Time to get our facts straight! All month long we’ll be taking a little fact-finding journey to discover how much liberty the film industry takes when movies are based on true events. This week we dissect The Haunting in Connecticut. 2009 was a magical time for film; but not in this case! Ash pu…
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As we enter September, it’s back to school, pumpkins! Time to get our facts straight! All month long we’ll be taking a little fact-finding journey to discover how much liberty the film industry takes when movies are based on true events. Tori from Toil and Trouble is back to help with the research! This week we’ll be comparing The Conjuring to the …
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Campers, pack your bags because summer camp is officially over! With the bittersweet taste of charred marshmallows and awkward first kisses in our mouths, we say goodbye to this chapter; but not before reading from The Necronomicon with Ash (quite literally) and Nick! Listen here, children: reading is what!? Fundamental! Too bad Ash and his friends…
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Campers, we are nearing the end of the inaugural run of Camp IDontWannaDie! Sit back and relax as Ash and Nick bring you the detailed account of the comically awful, yet delightfully fun, 2014 film Zombeavers! Tangents aplenty, your head counselors (ahem...Nick) get a little carried away by the zombeaver fever! I mean, zom-bear-ver!? C’mon! Be sure…
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Welcome back, pumpkins! This week author David Nora Jr. stops in to discuss his recently released book Slasher Crasher, while also helping Nick and Ash dissect fact from fiction - or LEGEND - in this week's film. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message…
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Join Nick and Ash as they welcome Tori and Meagan from Toil and Trouble Podcast to the Counselor's bunk. Pumpkins, this week we are diving deep into possibly the worst film ever made, according to Ash, and well, everyone else that was forced to sit down and muscle through this as requested by Tori. Light's out campers, because it's after hours. ---…
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Stock footage. Poor editing. Cheesy dialogue. Over-the-top acting. More stock footage. UFO models on strings. Overtly gay character acting. Vampira. What do all these things have in common? They’re key components of the “best worst movie of all time,” Plan 9 from Outer Space! In this week’s installment of horror education at Camp IDontWannaDie your…
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CDF is celebrating its 30th episode already!? We’re Thirty, flirty, and thriving as the kids say! After a brief hiatus, your favorite queers are back! We start with a catch-up sesh before hopping back on the bus to Camp IDontWannaDie. We’re getting personal - we’re talking loss, mental health, and striving to live our best lives. Then, we’re gettin…
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In light of recent events, this episode is dedicated to the late Luca Charles, Camp IDONTWANNADIE's beloved mascot. Ash and Nick have decided to release the unaired bonus episode recorded with their good friends and co-counselors Yaz and Kasey of The Worst Horror Podcast! Hang with our Scooby Gang as they dive deep into their respective local lore …
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This film is an Amazon Prime hand-picked...gem? This “so bad it’s good” experience was thrust upon us like a bad trip and congrats! - we’re sharing it with you. Join your favorite homos as they traverse the rocky terrain of this B Horror flick that checks off all of the boxes on the list of things you absolutely shouldn't do while camping. Oh, and …
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Rob from The Pumpkin Spice Podcast is in the studio this week! Well, kind of. Modern technology breaks down geographical communication barriers. Rob and your fearless hosts are helping tear down the 90’s film that seemed to give every little kid nightmares! From opulent wardrobe choices to maniacal, magical world domination, we dissect and reminisc…
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Did you ever have that one girl in school that you SWORE was straight out of hell? Well, Jennifer is basically that girl. She’s evil, and not just high school evil. She is literally a succubus. She’s here to tell you all about how boys are dumb, and tear down the patriarchy with her campy one-liners. Nick and Ash never thought they’d worship a demo…
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Hello Campers! Counselor Death Sprinkles here! Hold onto your bags, because the buses are making no stops and we are going FULL SPEED AHEAD! Nick and Ash are excited for the first week of Camp Idontwannadie and they hope everyone is prepared to talk about this week's film! It’s campy! It takes place at a camp! All we need now are some roasty marshm…
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The last week, and subsequently the last episode of Pride Month is upon us, and Nick and Ash reflect on what it truly means to be in an era where representation is done both effectively and responsibly - or when it isn’t. The duo take on not one, but two films this week and read each one in the very first head to head, versus death match. Grab your…
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