Episode 295 – The Raven (1963)

Max, Mike; Movies

Once upon a weekend dreary, while I pondered, drunk and bleary,
Over many a scratched and stainéd film, inducing quite a snore –
On the toilet I sat crapping, while the weekend I was mapping
In my head, my brain foot-tapping, hoping not to be a bore.
Surely there is something more!
Ah, distinctly I remember! It was May, no, wait, December!
Or maybe bleak November, I don’t know, my head is sore.
As I sat there nearly napping, from outside there came a tapping,
As if someone loudly rapping, rapping on the bathroom door!
Me: “One more minute, I implore!”
Then a voice, like some longshoreman, said: “’tis I, dead Roger Corman!
Do not open up the door, man, for that stench I can’t ignore!
Dead I may be, there’s no question, but I make this kind suggestion,
Someone should check your digestion, for that smell is bad, oh lor’!
If I weren’t dead already, it would kill me, that’s for shore!”
“Why haunt me, o movie shaman” I inquired, my face a-flamin’
My effluvia you’re shamin’, so what brings you to my door?”
“If a movie you are cravin’, go and watch my film ‘The Raven’,
Your podcast, it will be savin’, oh such pleasures are in store!”
And with that, he was no more!
So, I sat there, breathing fumes in, no it didn’t smell like cumin.
Shut your face, I’m only human! Does yours like roses smell?
Was the phantom truly speaking . . . oh lord, no, the toilet’s leaking!
It is out that I am freaking! Dear gods, this is surely hell!
How’s the movie? We shall tell!

Poll question: which author’s works do you most enjoy seeing adapted into film?