Two years and 115 episodes later, Sex Lives calls it quits. To figure out how to end things, host Maureen O'Connor invites her original co-hosts David Wallace-Wells and Allison P. Davis back into the studio to discuss breakup etiquette and stories from favorite Sex Lives guests and listeners. Dan Savage talks about the time he dumped a guy on Thank…

Linda Rosenkrantz was an art-world 'it' girl when, in the summer of 1965, she started carrying a reel-to-reel tape recorder everywhere she went, recording conversations at the beach, during parties, and after S&M hookups with New York City's wildest men. Those tapes turned into her lightning-rod novel Talk in 1968— the same year that New York Magaz…

Alyssa Shelasky returns with an update on life as a mom who used an anonymous sperm donor to have a baby: One year later, she isn't single, anymore. Alyssa is house-hunting with the boyfriend her daughter calls "Daddy." (Not that anyone was prepared for the time she screamed "Dada!" during a silent moment in front of a crowd.) Also up for discussio…

As a teenager in Louisiana, Myisha Battle learned about sex from textbooks censored with Sharpie markers. Today, she's a San Francisco-based sex coach dedicated to helping other women orgasm— and to squirt, which is an ability Myisha personally hones with pilates. Myisha explains her job, fields calls from Sex Lives listeners, and explains the wide…

In the horny imaginations of Harry Potter super-fans, Professor Snape is a BDSM sex god and Hermione Granger is a squirter. So say Potterotica hosts Allie LeFevere, Lyndsay Rush, and Danny Chapman, who explore the mind-bending universe of Harry Potter erotica every week— complete with dramatic readings. They explain which magic spells are the best …

He's been telling Americans how to fuck for 26 years, and he's still not done. Dan Savage reflects on his unlikely career and tells stories from his own sex life— including losing his virginity in a cosplay three-way with his brother's ex, falling in love with unattainable men, screwing up his son's "sex talk," coming out of the closet to his mothe…

Gay marriage has moved to the mainstream, but has wedding culture followed? What parts of wedding culture are worth keeping, anyway? Sex Lives assembles a panel of gay writers to discuss their personal experiences navigating the sexual politics and social minefields of getting hitched. Bon Appetit's Kurt Soller recalls debating which boyfriend shou…

Does dating suck because you’re awkward, or are you awkward because it’s a date? Ty Tashiro, psychologist and author of Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome, explains why steeling yourself and weathering the first five minutes of awkwardness is usually worth it. “Don’t be a wallflower,” he says, meaning it liter…

Jo Piazza was working as a travel editor when she met a man, married him— and spent the next year traveling to dozens of countries together, asking how marriage works in each place. She visits Sex Lives to revisit what she learned from women in Chile, Israel, Tanzania, India, France, Denmark, and beyond— and why, after discovering that she had a ge…

A listener calls Sex Lives with a harrowing story about accidentally destroying her husband's penis with Lysol, and Maureen enlists Ask a Clean Person columnist Jolie Kerr to help her sort out the ensuing mess. Also up for discussion: sex stains, masturbation messes, sexual etiquette for houseguests, and a theory about why Oscar the Grouch would ma…

Yes, it's a thing. Brian J. Moylan reports from the wild world of cosmetic procedures for male sex organs, starting with the time he cryonically froze his penis. (The shrinkage was intense.) He also introduces us to the growing field of "anal rejuvenation," which includes laser therapy, plastic surgery, Botox, bleaching, tightening, and loosening. …

E.J. Dickson, who last visited Sex Lives while pregnant, returns with her two-month-old baby in tow. She recounts taking an Uber to the hospital while her water was breaking, and feeling her uterus lifted out of her body during the C-section. Demanding a shot of whiskey after returning from the hospital, and giving up on breastfeeding. Watching her…

Where is the best place in America to fall in love? When Cosmopolitan asked Jada Yuan to find out, she flew to six wildly different locales (and her hometown of New York) to look for love in every damn place. She came away exhausted—and more optimistic than ever. From the small-town romantics of South Carolina, to the shirtless male models of Los A…

Ella Dawson has herpes, and talking about it is sort of her thing. She writes herpes-themed erotica; she gave a TED talk about herpes; she celebrates the day she was diagnosed with herpes; and her activism on sexually-transmitted diseases earned praise from Hillary Clinton. All this, and she's only had two outbreaks— which is a pretty standard expe…

Rachel Kramer-Bussel was a law student in the late '90s when an erotic fantasy about Monica Lewinsky changed her life— by inspiring her to drop everything and pursue a career in erotic literature. Today, Kramer-Bussel has written or edited more than erotica books, including the annual Best Women's Erotica of the Year anthology. With a new volume in…

Host Maureen O'Connor tries VR porn for the first time and is horrified. She's not the only one— the technical demands of the new medium has male performers struggling to stay turned on, too. But here's the weirdest part: VR porn fans aren't that into the hardcore stuff. They just want to cuddle with their virtual porn-star girlfriends. Vocativ sen…

Cindy Gallop dates younger men— which is how she discovered that younger men seem to have received their sexual educations from porn. To balance the myths of hardcore porn with reality, she founded Make Love Not Porn, a video sharing network that is "pro-sex, pro-porn, pro-knowing the difference." As in, a social media network where people show the…

“Every relationship can be based on love, even if it lasts only fifteen minutes.” That’s one of the beliefs that drove a movement to reinvent America’s understanding of sex, civic responsibility, and social welfare in the 1980s, says David France, director of AIDS activism documentary How to Survive a Plague.With a new era of activism emerging toda…

"You can't play it cool on Snapchat," says Priscilla Pine. And that's why it's the best for flirting. The pseudonymous technology-first sex writer came on Sex Lives to explain the different flirtation techniques each app on your phone requires— and the surreptitious information you can glean. Also up for discussion: when to save sex for the morning…

"I think it's a myth that you can't be a little bit pregnant because I've been a little bit pregnant for about six years," says Andrea Syrtash, founder of the Pregnantish.com. She explains: to be "a little bit pregnant," or pregnant-ish, is to be in a perpetual state of pregnant anticipation— as in, going through fertility treatment. Her new websit…

L is the first letter of LGBTQ, but often remains misrepresented and on the fringe. This week, two generations of queer women discuss the state of the modern lesbian. Slate staff writer Christina Cauterucci, who is in her 20s, explains why her generation of gender-fluid queers often resists "lesbian." Slate's Double X co-host June Thomas, who is in…

To honor the presidential inauguration, Sex Lives assembles a panel of politically thoughtful (and sexually perverse) minds to reflect on the sexual absurdity of Donald Trump and modern politics. Daily Beast senior editor Erin Gloria Ryan and Vocativ editorial director Ben Reininga consider: Do you believe Donald Trump's pee rumor? Would you pee on…

For decades, conventional and scientific wisdom held that pornography warped our understanding of sex, attraction, and love. But a new generation of scientists are unable to replicate those early findings. Why did porn stop bothering us? Have we become numb— or were earlier generations just paranoid? Science writer Daniel Engber explains those find…

Scott and Julie Rising have been leading parallel lives since birth. The fraternal twins were raised in Alaska. Julie was the tomboy star of her hockey team; Scott preferred musical theater. Each came out as gay after leaving Alaska. Now, with Scott living a thoroughly cosmopolitan life in New York, and Julie in red-state Idaho, the twins come toge…

"Coming out to my dad as an atheist was 100 times harder than coming out as gay." Before Christopher Trout became Engadget's executive editor and Computer Love columnist— before his career in gay porn and before he started building a genderqueer family of his own— he was the son of Methodist minister Rev. Dr. Steve Trout. A former Texas football st…

Every week, Sex Lives invites listeners to respond with their stories. This week, we listen— and call you back. Meet a left-handed man with a right-handed sex life, a mother whose natural childbirth triggered a sexual awakening, and a black man grappling with sexual racism from people who don’t know he’s black. Call 646-494-3590 to tell us more. Le…

At 40, Glynnis MacNicol realized she didn't want to be a mother, and didn't need a partner. And then she discovered newly exhilarating sexual and romantic freedom: Suddenly, she was traveling the world, entertaining— and rejecting— younger paramours, Parisian flirtations, and 22-year-old cowboys everywhere she went. Now 42, Glynnis is working on a …

In the seventh month of her pregnancy, E.J. Dickson found herself with the libido of a teenage boy— including a desire to watch hardcore pornography, the kind of terrifying gang-bangs she'd never seen or sought before. Before her pregnancy, E.J. was a journalist who wrote about sex. Then, mid-pregnancy, she lost her job, reinvented, and became an e…

Sometimes, love is a private feeling between two people. Other times, it's a declaration from the rooftops, a wedding announcement, or a public kiss. For the last three years Andrea Silenzi has been broadcasting her love life— and disasters— on her podcast Why Oh Why. She recorded her first date with her most recent boyfriend, as well as fights and…

Who's coming to Thanksgiving? For Christopher Trout, the list includes his father, a preacher from rural Texas; his boyfriend, a cop he met on Grindr; his baby mama, a ciswoman to whom he donated sperm; his baby papa, a transman with whom he once hooked up; and his mom. Trout, who is Engadget's executive editor, returns to Sex Lives to discuss fami…

Mona Chalabi first saw her vulva while peering into a hand mirror at a labiaplasty surgeon's office; thanks to filmmaker Mae Ryan—the other half of The Guardian’s “Vagina Dispatches” docs-series team—we get to see Mona seeing it, too. In this week’s episode of Sex Lives, Mona and Mae share stories from their vulva adventures, including the time the…

Could you tell a $10,000 fake penis from the real thing? Karley Sciortino couldn't. For Vice show "Slutever," Sciortino fucked a male sex doll; rented a cuddle-boyfriend in Japan; observed medical sexual surrogacy; and helped a dominatrix kidnap an alarmingly handsome client. (True story: last time Karley did that, she was arrested.) Sciortino disc…

In the flesh, they're the same as every other dick. But in the cultural imagination, black penises are fetishized, feared, commodified, obsessed over, and separated from the humanity of those they belong to. New York Times critic-at-large Wesley Morris discusses his essay "Last Taboo: Why Pop Culture Can't Handle Black Male Sexuality," and what it'…

Former Sex Lives co-host Allison P. Davis— now a staff writer at The Ringer— returns to deliver a master class on manipulating love interests by text message. Specifically, the exquisite cruelty of "read receipts," the pitfalls of flirting by GIF, and a little-discussed side effect of ghosting: haunting. Tell us your opinion by calling 646-494-3590…

Sex Lives visits downtown restaurant New York Sushi Ko to snack on sea urchin and discuss the perils of— and secret tricks for— dining with dates. And could we ever date a vegan? Grub Street’s Sierra Tishgart recalls the time she forced a date to eat raw tripe. Sushi Ko chef John Daley gets real about hooking up with customers. (Like the woman who …

Eddie Huang wrote a memoir about getting engaged-- but by the time Double Cup Love came out, he was single again. On a break from filming his TV show Huang's World, Eddie invited Sex Lives into his Brooklyn apartment for a discussion of race, sex, love, death, learning about masturbation from Ghostface Killah, and the time he ate tuna semen. With M…

Ok, maybe a few guys, but most of you are lying to yourselves, says Dr. Emily Morse. After eleven years of educating listeners on her Sex With Emily podcast, Morse discusses her own sexual education, discovering orgasm, what to do when an unnecessary magnum slips off inside your cooch, why she walks around with weighted balls in her cooch, and why …

Dr. Chris Donaghue was working as a therapist, and he was bored. So he switched to sex therapy-- and discovered his own queer identity. Since then he's hosted two reality shows, written two books, and had sex with people of all genders. But his most radical sexual choice? Prioritizing masturbation. During a break at New York's Sexual Health Expo, D…

New York sex writer Alana Massey felt a little crazy when she bought a house without a family to put in it— and 100 miles away from her boyfriend. During a visit back to the city, she ruminated on the romance of real estate; how open spaces affect the way you fuck; how she found love on a dating app; and why they'd rather live further apart. Learn …

French GQ sex columnist Maia Mazaurette was Paris's answer to Carrie Bradshaw - until she came to New York, joined Tinder, and fell in love with an American. Two years later, she compares French and American attitudes towards sex, infidelity, love, and flirtation. Oh, and the French word for "French kiss"? Something about rolling tongue-shovels. Gr…

What happens when friendship and flirtation conflict? Two pairs of female BFFs discuss their overlapping love lives; what to do when you catch someone else's partner cheating; and how to stay friends with a friend who falls in love with your ex (or a friend who's just banging your ex). Vogue sex columnist Karley Sciortino and her bestie, the writer…

Gossip columnist Rob Shuter - who oversaw J.Lo and Jessica Simpson at their peaks - talks celebrity penis size, Kim Kardashian body hair, and what on earth is Bieber's game? With Maureen O'Connor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesAutor: New York Magazine / Panoply

In her mid-twenties, Katie Heaney wrote "Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date," a memoir about the frustrations of a millennial who is willing, but unable, to find a boyfriend. Today, Katie is in a serious relationship - with a woman. She joins host Maureen O'Connor to discuss discovering her sexuality as an adult, and reconciling her…

To bid farewell to her co-host David Wallace-Wells, Maureen interrogates his wife Risa Needleman about being with one man since age nineteen, his-and-hers manbuns, getting married on a 24-hour whim, and sharing deodorant, email passwords, and a toothbrush. Departed co-host Allison P. Davis, now of The Ringer, returns to weigh in on the great shared…

Jennifer Kaplan and Lindsey Rupp, hosts of Bloomberg's Material World podcast, give a guided tour of America's $15 billion sex toy industry-- and gender politics, free-speech battles, and consumer choices that shape it. With Maureen O'Connor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…

When it comes to penis size, some men will show their full potential from the start, while others have the ability to grow to unexpected heights. Could the same be true for falling in love? Vocativ deputy editor Erin Gloria Ryan and NYMag.com writer Jason Chen discuss men who grow better with age, how "benching" became the new "ghosting," and the w…

Recording from Phildelphia during the DNC, New York Magazine's Rembert Browne joins Maureen O'Connor for a discussion of political romance, sexual innuendo at both conventions, and a strange new right-wing meme about cuckolding. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesAutor: New York Magazine / Panoply

Have the rules of meet-cute engagement changed? Vogue sex columnist Karley Sciortino argues that, in the age of Tinder, hitting on strangers at bars is crazier than an internet-enhanced hookup. Crazier, even, than the time she thought about asking her gynecologist on a date. With Maureen O'Connor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoi…

Science of Us's Drake Baer explains a series of scientific studies that calculate what makes a dating market good or painful, and how they explain why dating in New York is so wretched. Comedian Mike Blejer chimes in with tales of "turbo-dating" in New York, a city where going on multiple dates a night every night if the week is not only possible b…

This week: a special report from a $400-per-couple Hamptons sex party, marketed to "the world's sexual elite." (And their Russian sugar babies.) Harper's Bazaar writer Jenna Sauers was in attendance, and explains who made the guest list, how much sex they had, and how to play it cool when an elderly financier is going down on his wife right in fron…