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A terrible podcast about terribly considered movies. With Simon (who knows a lot) and Nadeem (who does not). New episodes released every Wednesday. We also do an off-season show, “Goodies”, in which we recommend good films, and a monthly show, “Modern Fart”, in which we discuss new releases! CURRENTLY ON HIATUS - ART CINEMA, FART CINEMA WILL RETURN!
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In this ALL NEW episode of ART CINEMA, FART CINEMA, Simon and Cameron discuss the 1981 slasher film "The Burning", which is about a murderous and disfigured summer camp caretaker who seeks bloody vengeance. This film is especially interesting because it stars George Costanza and Elastigirl in their first ever film roles. That's it! That's all you g…
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Sorry it's late, here's the first part of our Christmas special, "A Very Michael Keaton Christmas"!Nadeem and Simon discuss the 1992 pop culture phenomenon 'Batman Returns', a movie no-one now cares about. How strange. I thought massive event movies were ALL IMPORTANT for ALL TIME?!Merry Christmas everybody.…
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We saw Knives Out, the new film by Rian Johnson. But did the wee director, infamous for DESTROYING Star Wars FOREVER, manage to salvage his falling reputation with this movie?The answer's a pretty decisive yes; this is a solid little movie. Nothing to write home about, but undeniably a fun yarn to watch unfurl. A yarn, I say. Nadeem gives this film…
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Ken Russell's 1971 historical horror-drama 'The Devils' is what Simon recommends this week. A theatrical, haphazard, horrific, and lively movie set in religious 17th-century France... another week, another satanic nightmare. The film was very controversial when it was released, being banned in a bunch of countries, or often released heavily censore…
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In this week's Goodie, Nadeem recommends the 1963 classic British New Wave movie 'Billy Liar'.A really inspirational and heart warming and lovely little film, 'Billy Liar' centres around young Billy Fisher, a lad who feels stifled in his humdrum Yorkshire life. To escape from this mundane day-to-day grind, Billy fantasizes constantly, and lies a lo…
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'Frankenhooker' is a weirdo science-fiction-fantasy-horror-comedy from 1990, directed by Frank Henenlotter. The story involves a man re-creating his dead fiance by using parts of dead prostitutes (prostitutes he has killed using exploding crack). Simon enjoys this movie because he is a sex pervert WEIRDO, but also because this is a thoroughly under…
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'Faces Places' is a charming documentary by French New Wave filmmaker Agnès Varda and French street artist JR, in which the pair go around rural France making art with locals. ...if you think this movie sounds boring, think again son! 'Faces Places' is really uplifting and life-affirming and perspective-changing, and was rightly considered among th…
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Simon recommends Todd Solondz's 'Happiness', a darkly comic 1998 drama. Uncomfortable viewing, Roger Ebert referred to this film as being "certainly for adults only", and "[looking] into the abyss of human despair".It apparently has more impact if you don't know anything about it before watching... so I ain't telling you anything!…
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This week's Goodie sees Nadeem recommend Banksy's dynamic 2010 documentary 'Exit Through the Gift Shop'. A unique glimpse into the world of street art, as well as a meditation on what a dubious honour it is to be a commercially successful artist, this documentary weaves a peculiar, amusing yarn. What a toffy sentence. PECULIAR AMUSING YARN. OOoOoOo…
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This week's Goodie sees young Simon recommend 'Carnival of Souls', a 1962 indie horror that went on to influence filmmakers like David Lynch and George A Romero. As Nadeem hasn't seen this film yet, he will simply copy and paste a handy synopsis right here:"Mary Henry (Candace Hilligoss) ends up the sole survivor of a fatal car accident through mys…
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In this week's episode of Goodies, Nadeem recommends 'Free Solo'. You may have heard of this movie, but have you seen it?!FREE SOLO is a 2018 documentary chronicling professional climber Alex Honnold's ascent of El Capitan. But what is El Capitan?El Capitan is a 900 metre tall rock wall, which Honnold attempts to climb WITHOUT ANY SAFETY EQUIPMENT …
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It's Goodie time again, boys, and this episode Simon recommends 'Danger: Diabolik', a 1968 Italian comic book adaptation! Directed by Mario Bava and with a score by Ennio Morricone, this movie is about a criminal (called Diabolik)who carries out massive heists... and the efforts of Police Inspector Ginko in catching him.A madcap and action-packed m…
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The final episode of Art Cinema, Fart Cinema Season 2 is here... Sexy Shipwrecks: Part 2. It has been such a fun-filled and wondrous 20 episode run. Thank you so much for listening!In 'Sexy Shipwrecks: Part 2', Simon and Nadeem discuss what was once the biggest bad movie of all time, James Cameron's 'Titanic'. Everyone's seen it. It's exceptionally…
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Welcome to Art Cinema, Fart Cinema's Modern Fart... our new show in which we talk about new movies! In this terrifying second episode, Simon and Nadeem (with guest baby boy Cameron) talk about 'It Chapter Two', the sequel to the biggest horror movie of all time.A drawn-out and boring movie to some, and a horrifying pop culture event to others, 'It …
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Madonna decided she'd embark on an acting career in the late 20th century. It failed massively. This is the crowning achievement of that failure: 'Body of Evidence', an erotic thriller from 1993 that is neither erotic nor thrilling.In 'Sexy Shipwrecks', Nadeem and Simon will discuss sexy movies that are also, literally or figuratively, total shipwr…
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'Party Farties: Part 2' covers the dodgy 1985 cult classic 'Weird Science', in which two teenage losers design and build their perfect woman... only for her to teach them some wholesome (and mostly garbage) lessons about self-acceptance. From the maker of 'Home Alone'.Iffy, sleazy, and weird as hell, 'Weird Science' will leave you thinking 'How was…
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Welcome to the first episode of Art Cinema, Fart Cinema's "Modern Fart", a totally inspired and unscheduled show in which we talk about BRAND NEW MOVIES! This episode features a 100% REAL cameo from Tarantino himself. 100% real. This Modern Fart sees Cameron the intern, Simon and Nadeem sort-of discuss Quentin Tarantino's new film 'Once Upon a Time…
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'Party Farties' sees us young lads discussing a party movie for young lads: the classic late-2000s comedy 'The Hangover'. Diminished in reputation since its release due to some dodgy sequels and an edgy, out-of-fashion, sense of humour, this film is nonetheless a total joy to watch. Hopefully it won't slide into fartdom.…
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QUEST YAWN. PART 2. LEGEND. 1985. TOM CRUISE LOOKING AND ACTING WEIRD.'Legend' is a 1985 fantasy film by Ridley Scott that is just blooming awful. However, it is REPLETE with some seriously interesting and well-done elements as well. REPLETE, I say!Have you ever wanted to see Tom Cruise act as anything other than a tough action hero guy? Now's your…
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QUEST YAWN - 1980s quest movies that were slept on when they came out... perhaps deservedly... Jim Henson's 'Labyrinth' is an unsung masterpiece of fart cinema, flopping when it came out in 1986 but nonetheless becoming a cult favourite in the years since. Starring the irreplaceable David Bowie as the villainous Goblin King, and Jennifer Connelly i…
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'Babe: Pig in the City' flopped like a fat hog falling into a hotel swimming pool. Which is a shame considering it is actually oddly compelling.Simon and Nadeem discuss this weirdo cult sequel to 'Babe' in 'Babes Talk Babe: Part 2'. In the film, young piggy Babe travels to the city, gets separated from his owner, and ends up in a hotel full of talk…
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1995 brought many wonderful things, but the most wonderful of all was George Miller's sleeper hit film 'Babe'. In this episode, we, two BABES, discuss this fabled film. A naive little pig is won by a farmer. The pig decides he wants to become a sheep-dog. Chaos ensues. It's true Australian kino.Autor: Art Cinema, Fart Cinema
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Really sorry for missing our release dates - we will be back on track next week with episode 32 of the main show. So, in the meantime, have a Goodie!This week Nadeem recommends 'The Favourite', Yorgos Lanthimos' 2018 weirdo period (comedy?) drama. Olivia Coleman plays a warped version of Queen Anne, delivering an Oscar-winning performance that will…
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As we messed up the recording schedule this week, have an impromptu Goodie. 'Death Race 2000' is a science fiction sports film from good old 1975. Mad-cap and violent, this film is a cult classic, and inspired Simon to start his own car-based sport. It inspired the creation of 'Mad Max: The Road Warrior'.It was also remade in 2008, as 'Death Race',…
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The second part of 'Self-Medicating Rocker Boys in Trouble', in which Simon, Cameron, and Nadeem discuss 'Save the Date', an abhorrent and cringey indie rom-com from 2012. IT ISN'T ROM AND IT ISN'T COM.Starring Alison Brie and Lizzy Caplan, the movie is a blend of every rom-com cliche ever, obfuscated with arty farty stylings. It's rubbish, don't w…
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Nadeem has his eyes opened, by Simon and beloved guest Cameron, to the world of metal band Metallica. The trio discuss 2004 rockumentary 'Metallica: Some Kind of Monster', a seriously interesting film exploring a challenging time in the band's career. Plenty of manbaby moments in this film, yes sir!Autor: Art Cinema, Fart Cinema
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'Biggles' is a 1986 British film in which some American guy travels back in time, sporadically and against his own will, to assist a British Great War pilot called Biggles. It features some really cool stunt work but is generally a crock of poo. 80s cheese. A bad time travel movie.Dunce Upon a Time. Art Cinema, Fart Cinema.…
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Gus Van Sant, a usually pretty decent director, decided to remake Alfred Hitchcock's classic film 'Psycho' in 1998. The result is an abhorrent piece of crap, despite being a 'shot for shot' retelling of the original. Please, please watch the original 1950 film if you haven't already. It is one of the best films ever made, we scoundrels think.…
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It's late, but it's finally here - the second part of 'Charles Dance (with the Devil)', in which Nadeem, Simon, and Ben talk about films featuring Charles Dance as the villain. This week's film is the 1986 schlock film 'The Golden Child' starring Eddie Murphy. Simon loves this weird detective film. I am really not too sure why.…
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"CHARLES DANCE (WITH THE DEVIL)" FILMS WITH CHARLES DANCE PLAYING THE VILLAINTHIS EPISODE: LAST ACTION HERO (1993), THE METACINEMATIC ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER CRAPFEST THAT FLOPPED HARDTHIS EPISODE FEATURES A GUEST CALLED BENPLEASE NOTE THERE WILL BE A DELAY OF 1 WEEK ON THE SECOND PART OF THIS EPISODEAutor: Art Cinema, Fart Cinema
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Part 2 of 'Harry Farter and Ron Squeezely'. Episode 4 of Season 2."THUNDERPANTS" is an independent British film from 2002, starring Rupert 'Ron Weasley' Grint. It follows Patrick Smash, a boy with a farting problem, and Alan A. Allen, a boy genius who helps him get over this bum bum problem. If you have not seen this movie, oh lawd you should! It's…
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Nadeem and Simon have an enlightening discussion on the 2016 sort-of-now-cult-film 'Swiss Army Man', in which Daniel Radcliffe plays a super-powered farting corpse. Directed by 2 people called Daniel, starring Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe... dan dan dan dan dan dan dan.I think that's all there is to say. It's a very strange film. This episode is …
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Season 2, Episode 2... also episode 21 overall... or 34ish if you count the Goodies I suppose... oh boy.The old farts take a look at 'Grease 2', the abysmal sequel to the 1970s classic that your maw loves. A terrible terrible terrible movie in every respect, 'Grease 2' launched the career of Michelle Pfeiffer, unfortunately. GREAT JOB HOLLYWOOD.Enj…
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Welcome to Season 2 of Art Cinema Fart Cinema. We are so happy you have joined us, once again, for another outing into the world of awful cinema.This week, 'Irrefutably Beautiful High School Musicals' takes us into the ANNALS of the Disney Channel's 'High School Musical' franchise. Rocking the world over for a solid three years, this infamous serie…
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'The Ballad of Buster Scruggs' is the new film by the Coen brothers, exclusively streaming on Netflix. We are not paid by Netflix! Sorry! This is the only way you will see this film! Nadeem umms and ahhs his way through a description of this movie, which is a western anthology, made up of 6 quirky/heartbreaking/funny/dark parts. Nadeem tries his be…
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