Shifting People Pleasing Friendship Patterns with Deb Blum

Friendship IRL

A few years ago, I realized that one of my friendship patterns was actually kind of a problem.

I’d show up for my friends as Superwoman, bragging that I could (and would) drop everything and do anything for my friends – even if it meant betraying myself and my own needs. Then, when I really needed help, I’d never ask for it.

I think we all have friendship patterns and tendencies. Some are good. Some are not. What’s important is taking a step back to determine whether they serve our friendships.

We can talk about this stuff in theory, but hearing real stories makes all the difference, and today’s guest, Deb Blum, the CEO and founder of the Whole Soul Way, shares her own tales with truth and vulnerability, from her historical wariness of female friendships to the midlife realization that made all the difference.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Becoming friends with people who feel “safe enough” and the feeling of being “too much” – plus, the difference between fitting in and belonging
• Mismatches in relationships vs. mismatches in the moment, and how sometimes people just aren’t in the same places at the same time
• The friendship patterns Deb finally realized midlife that were impacting her relationships and how she shifted those to create better ones
• The impact our parents have on how we interact with friends and how close we allow people to get to us
• The damage it can do to friendships when you don’t share your whole truth – and how people pleasing can actually be a bit of a betrayal

Resources & Links:

Learn about the Whole Soul Way and follow Deb Blum on Facebook and Instagram.

Dive deeper into these ideas and listen to Episode 15, about managing differences in friendships.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!