Episode 171: Theatre Kid Inferno

Rank & Vile

On this episode, we dig into 2014 comedy horror musical STAGE FRIGHT! Minnie Driver is actually in this! She's visible onscreen and she says stuff!

To read the full transcript, go to https://rankandvile.captivate.fm/episode/episode-171-theatre-kid-inferno

Transcript:

Ryan 0:05

[Theme Song] Hey guys, welcome to Rank and Vile, the podcast where we are ranking every horror movie ever made from best to worst. And this is Ryan.

Quincy 0:42

And this is Quincy.

Ryan 0:43

How's it going Quincy, how's your week going?

Quincy 0:45

It's good. At the time of recording. We're in that wonderful period between Christmas and New Year's.

Ryan 0:52

Oh yes.

Quincy 0:53

Where I don't have to work. So time has meant nothing. And my child and I have just been playing video games.

Ryan 1:01

Yeah. I feel like everybody in between Christmas Day and New Year's Eve like we all just look like the two Jeremy Ironses in Dead Ringers toward the end of the movie. In a room full of like, Chip wrappers and dishes and we're all just like muttering nonsense into the ground.

Quincy 1:20

It's so weird because what I imagined some people have been living their entire 2020 like, like the end of Dead Ringers. And I really envy people that that have been able to just sink into a non human state of existence.

Ryan 1:41

Yeah. And actually, now that we think about it, like the the bit in Dead Ringers, where they're like, hey, it's our birthday today. And then one of them's like, yeah, we've got cake. And he's like, do we have ice cream? And everyone's like, No, we don't and he's just like, I want ice cream is like that's how I feel during this entire pandemic because I can't go like go out to a bar or just order a pizza.

Quincy 2:00

Buddy, I learned that the grocery chain Aldi delivers for free.

Ryan 2:06

No shit.

Quincy 2:08

It's a game changer.

Ryan 2:09

Oh, that's a genuine game changer. Fuck. That's incredible.

Quincy 2:12

Yeah, it's very good,

Ryan 2:14

Oh man. So what so what ghoul shit or not even just ghoul shit? I think we're in quarantine. Everything kind of becomes ghoul shit, what activities have you been ensconced in?

Quincy 2:24

Okay, so I actually have been playing a ghoulish video game. Have you heard of hell taker?

Ryan 2:29

No, but that's a great fucking title.

Quincy 2:32

There's a game on Steam where you are. Basically John Travolta. In Saturday Night Fever. You're wearing a white disco suit.

Ryan 2:41

What?

Quincy 2:42

So you wake up one day and go demon harem. I have to have a demon harem. So the video game is half Sokoban, a Video game where you just are moving blocks in order to get to a sexy demon girl. Because you only have like 20 moves or the the ground of hell catches you on fire and sucks you in?

Ryan 3:06

Uh huh.

Quincy 3:06

And then once you actually make it to the demon girls, it turns into a visual novel, where you have to say the right thing to woo the demon girl to get her to join your harem.

Ryan 3:17

Oh, shit. So it just becomes a demon dating sim?

Quincy 3:20

Yeah, it's half demon dating sim half puzzle. And when you need help with the puzzles, it goes back to dating sim because you can ask the girls in your harem. Hey, how do I beat this level?

Ryan 3:34

This is fucking incredible. Also, I love the name Hell Taker, because immediately it's like, so you take hell or you are taken by like, it's one of those titles. It's like, I know that I like the word hell and the word taker. And we're off to the races. Let's dive into the movie we're doing this week. So this. Oh boy.

Quincy 3:53

I'm so pleased with this.

Ryan 3:54

Boy, howdy, it is. So this week, we are doing the movie Stage Fright from 2014 which is a musical horror comedy?

Quincy 4:04

Yes. Now this was a listener request, it came in through our email. And if anyone wants to request a movie, they can just shoot us an email at rank and vile [e-mail].

Ryan 4:14

Thank you for the request also.

Quincy 4:17

And Jacob asked us to watch this now this is on tubi however, it is also available on DVD and I cannot stress that the DVD. I can't stress enough that the DVD has a singalong special feature.

Ryan 4:35

Oh, that's what you want. I think that's it. You just have like a little bouncing ball then?

Quincy 4:39

Oh, yeah. It's it's totally worth the money.

Ryan 4:42

Oh, that's lovely

Quincy 4:43

This is also a movie that I found at Dollar Tree for $1. So

Ryan 4:48

Oh, wow. That's You know what?

Quincy 4:50

The true cyberpunk dystopia is it is cheaper to buy physical media than digital media anymore.

Ryan 4:57

Yeah, to just like and when you buy the digital media You're not even actually buying it. You're just buying access to it. Like there's no anyway, but I feel like every episode, we need to have at least one moment where we like spike the camera and go own physical media, it will outlast your digital subscription. Especially because in my house this week, we ran out of internet for a couple of hours in the evening hours when we watch stuff. And so we were forced to go like, Jesus, let's look at our DVDs and we ended up watching the Wachowskis' Speed Racer movie and then tapped out of it after 20 minutes because we were all just like, this is too much Dude, I'm not I'm just trying to chill and have a good time and

Quincy 5:37

It is a movie with Speed Racer is a movie with zero chill.

Ryan 5:41

Yeah, yeah, it has never at any point found any chill. So Stage Fright being Okay, so here's the thing. In college, I had a friend who was obsessed with Repo, the Genetic Opera that and I was living with her. I hate that movie now because of how many times she rewatched Repo. So I feel like I was at the outset of Stage Fright. I was I was predisposed to being like, fuck this, like horror comedy musical. But here's the thing. It's great?

Quincy 6:10

It's very good. My my only major complaint and we'll get into this is that it doesn't have more music in it.

Ryan 6:20

You know what it is though, actually, and this is I realized that but then I was also thinking of Okay, so a lot of this is a send up of Phantom of the Opera. The thing about the thing about Phantom of the Opera, there are three genuine bangers on that in that musical and the rest of it is all gristle and fat.

Quincy 6:38

It's such a send up of Phantom of the Opera that they cast Minnie Driver.

Ryan 6:43

And yeah, Minnie Driver, who of course played Carlotta in the the Joel Schumacher Phantom of the Opera movie. And so for me like if there's a lot of filler songs in this I'm also kind of like yeah, that's like everything in Phantom of the Opera that's not music of the night, the title track and no, it's just those two actually. It's now here's my question, though. When you were growing up, was your mom a phantom head at all like was she into Phantom of the Opera.

Quincy 7:09

So both my mom and dad were italics Theater people. Close italics. Dad was an actor in community theater, and mom did the costumes for community theater. So a lot of my childhood was spent playing with Batman The Animated Series's clayface in the back of a community theater.

Ryan 7:31

Oh, yeah.

Quincy 7:31

Or in the back of the local colleges theater, like black box theater. So um, I don't know what what. What I'm beating around the bush to say is I don't know what normal is. I saw Rocky Horror Picture Show on mute when I was like six.

Ryan 7:50

Oh, man, that explains so much.

Quincy 7:52

Yeah. I glommed on to all of my parents' friends, because in casual conversation, things were mentioned like, Oh, yeah, John Paul has seen Godzilla before. And I'm like, let me ask you every single question ever.

Ryan 8:07

I've got so many questions like that.

Quincy 8:08

I'm not gonna ask you. I don't care that you're wearing lipstick at this Halloween party. What I really want to know is

Ryan 8:16

Yeah, I mean you're asking the serious questions

Quincy 8:17

who would win in a fight Godzilla versus King Kong?

Ryan 8:20

It's an important question like that's so yeah, like growing up in that environment your your understanding of what is like. Well, I don't know like for me like growing up my mom was super into Broadway and was also like, a huge Phantom of the Opera fan. That play. The thing is I hate Andrew Lloyd Webber, but the thing about the thing about it is Phantom of the Opera is not good. But you know what, it does have a fucking banger of an opening track with the bomb. bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb. Like I there is no irony. I am capable of zero irony around how cool that opening is.

Quincy 8:55

I think you also have to note that every time people talk about Phantom of the Opera, they say how about that chandelier?

Ryan 9:03

I mean, yeah. Oh actually. Yeah, excuse me. It's there three things about it. It's the title track, Music of the Night, and that fucking chandelier like that's that's what you're that's what you're buying a ticket for. Stage Fright. Okay, so we get the opening scene featuring I shit you not Minnie fucking Driver. I yelled. Honestly, when Minnie Driver popped up.

Quincy 9:23

Yeah, it's great casting. It's like the best get of the whole movie. And it also stars Meatloaf.

Ryan 9:31

Also starring Meatloaf, which by the way, I'm right or die for Meatloaf. Like I very consciously don't pay attention to any of his political beliefs. Because I love Meatloaf so much.

Quincy 9:42

You know, what's really interesting is the political section of Meatloaf's Wikipedia page.

Ryan 9:47

It's it's a lot he Yeah, he's he's uh, he. Yeah, but you know, I also respect Meatloaf so much as a side note, because Are you familiar with where he got his stage name?

Quincy 9:58

Is it because of like, abuse from his father.

Ryan 10:02

Yeah, his father who abused the shit out of him and actually stabbed him at one point like his horrible father who because you know, he was a fat kid and his dad called him meatloaf as an insult. I respect so much that as an adult Meatloaf was like, You know what, that's my fucking name. Now I'm gonna be Meatloaf and I'm going to be a rock star named Meatloaf. Like that's, that's the dopest shit

Quincy 10:21

And I'm gonna get a bad ass motorcycle.

Ryan 10:23

I'm gonna get so many goddamn candelabras on stage, then you'll see you'll all see. But so the movie opens and we get this opening track. That's like a takeoff on Phantom of the Opera called the haunting of the opera. And the it opens with a guy like a guy getting stabbed. And then you realize like, Oh, this is all on stage and an audience is watching and Minnie Driver is the like Sarah Brightman

Quincy 10:47

One of those fakeouts. They pull the camera back and it's a pause. Then we pull back and we see in the wings of the theater to little Moppets watching starstruck, and the best stage manager in Motion Picture ever. This guy is amazing.

Ryan 11:06

Yeah, I now. The thing is, he has a very, he's sort of like audibly gay, but in a way that made me worried that this movie was like, this is a straight actor doing his best like jack from Will and Grace. He's like, your mom is fierce. And it's, I think he actually is gay. Like,

Quincy 11:25

yeah, I don't know. Um, it rang true. I will say that it felt like people that I also have worked with in community theater.

Ryan 11:36

Oh, definitely. And I mean, like this movie, a thing that I appreciate about it. It's sort of ambiently gay with the kids in this movie. Like and

Quincy 11:44

And it even we'll get to the the gay jokes in a moment. What I like about it is it knows exactly who its audience is.

Ryan 11:52

Oh, yeah.

Quincy 11:52

And it's not going to make fun of the LGBT community. Because it comes from a bunch of theater nerds. Like it's very clear that the two guys that wrote a rock opera horror movie, about phantom of the opera are not going to stoop to low hanging fruit of like, gay jokes

Ryan 12:19

They know what side of the bread their butter's on. It's like, when I was in the one act festival in college where like, you know, a bunch of student directors would like do a one act play in like big blocks to sort of cut their teeth on directing. I remember when we were doing auditions, the head of the department at the time Graham was doing this thing. This room full of people he was, you know, sort of talking about, like, you know, for some of these roles, you're gonna have to be okay with cursing. If you're homophobic. Why are you in theater? It's just like, Yeah, no, this is the land of the gays. Now the thing about the haunting of the opera, the name of the main villain is opera ghost. Guys, you couldn't find another opera. Okay. All right

Quincy 13:04

I also love that throughout this movie, opera ghost is a perfect synthesis of Rockso the rock and roll clown and Freddy Krueger

Ryan 13:16

Yeah, God He is spitting out so many Freddy Krueger one liners later in this thing it is it is egregious.

Quincy 13:22

He's got this raspy guy in a heavy metal parking lot voice

Ryan 13:28

Just cream like surprise bitches like it's just, it's it's truly incredible. The thing raps and then we get Minnie Driver getting sort of hugged from behind by somebody in a cloak and a mask. And then

Quincy 13:41

But you're forgetting. So the kids in the audience go back to see their mom and it's like your mom's a star and she's amazing. And we see meatloaf's very bizarre. Lip carpet for the spiffy

Ryan 13:55

Oh boy. Howdy that mustache? It is. Um, I would describe that mustache as it's like he face fucked a lint trap. It's just it's there. But you're like, should it be? I don't think it should be there.

Quincy 14:10

It looks like Ernie's eyebrows.

Ryan 14:15

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Right. He Yeah. And and that mustache stays throughout the movie, which I feel is

Quincy 14:21

Yeah, but what's interesting is later in the film, it's because the this is a introduction and then we go 10 years later, it's like a natural gray for the rest of the movie. So I wonder if they dyed meatloaf's actual hair black for the scene. And that's why it looks so stupid.

Ryan 14:43

All right, like because they had to show the passage of time that he's got a white mustache now instead of black mustache.

Quincy 14:49

I guess I'm not really sure.

Ryan 14:51

Yeah, yeah. That God that mustache. It is it is truly something.

Quincy 14:56

So the only real thing that we have to talk about Is the the way this movie's pretty good about motifs? Minnie Driver sings her daughter a little like, ditty, and the daughter sings this for the rest of the movie.

Ryan 15:13

Yeah. Now and actually, I would say that like the songwriting in this, it's kind of spotty, but the bits that work like when it works, it totally works.

Quincy 15:23

Oh, absolutely, yeah. When it works, and when it remembers what it's doing, it works really well. I think the problem is, it is trying to be two separate movies. It's a musical and it's a horror movie. It's not really a horror musical.

Ryan 15:39

No, no, not really. It's it's there's music and it's a horror comedy. But it's it doesn't quite do all three of those things. And as you know, like, I think on this podcast, I think I get sort of harsh toward horror comedies, and I'm very judgy about them. Because for me, I'm either like, either you need to be genuinely scary or you need to be genuinely funny and make me laugh because I think so many horror comedies are just this like mishmash and it doesn't succeed on either of those levels.

Quincy 16:07

And, and what really speaks to that is how immediately Minnie Driver is like, making out with the opera ghost in her dressing room after her kids leave. And then she's like, Oh, no, and the opera ghosts stabs her to death and stabs the knife in her mouth.

Ryan 16:27

Okay, stabs her to death. Let's this she. They kill the shit out of Minnie Driver in this, like.

Quincy 16:34

And I wonder how much of this is the director saying? You'll make fun of theater kids, huh? theater kids aren't tough, eh? I'll show you I'll show you all.

Ryan 16:45

These ain't your mom's theater kids. Yeah, like Minnie Driver who God bless her for being like, Alright, you guys got me for about two days of shooting because you don't have like hire Minnie Driver full time money. But she Yeah, like gets stabbed through the the front of her throat and then in the back of her head like out through her mouth. There is just there is so much blood during this scene that I actually like blurted Good god during

Quincy 17:09

Yes, it is harrowing. And yeah, we've watched a lot of very gory movies. But to go it's jarring how it shifts tonally because you don't really expect to see you know, torture porn. But

Ryan 17:27

Yeah, it's it's, you know, and actually, I'll go ahead and say it the effects in this movie pretty fucking good.

Quincy 17:34

Pretty fucking good. Very fucking good.

Ryan 17:36

Like I never feel like I'm watching cheese. And I also never feel like I'm watching over produced like, we did this in Adobe After Effects like

Quincy 17:43

yeah, and the DP. Now another thing is the DP definitely focuses on that sort of washed out mid 2000s. Even though this is a 2014 film, it still looks like a 2005 movie. It's very dark colors. And what's frustrating is the stage production. That's later in the movie is supposed to be bright and colorful. And we even have Allie MacDonald like in this very over the top face paint and yet the lighting still looks like it is in a warehouse.

Ryan 18:19

Yeah, I think that's kind of my thing is I so I just for reasons that elude me. I just...