"Have you found anyone yet?"

Deconstructing Gaslighting™

“I hate how often you are forced to define yourself by your marriage status… now I have to check the ‘divorced’ box on whatever form I’m filling out. But all they give you is a box. No place to clarify. No place to explain… only a label.” Suzanne Reeves. Only a label.

Single. Married. Divorced. Or even, “It’s complicated” lol. All of us, at least at one point in our lives, was single. So, one would think it is a completely normal and valid way of living or phase of life. And yet – not only has being single been presented as being “less than”, it’s also a label that has been slapped on people and made them to feel “other”. So today my guest and I are going to talk about the mountains of gaslighting messages that intersect with being “single”.

I have got a REALLY exciting offering for you today! If you have ever thought about or wanted to go through my empowerment program, but were on the fence about it, now is the time to sign up, and here’s why. Twice a year I do a special adaptation as I partner with WORTH. I take my 12-lesson program and condense it into an eight-week class for about 1/3 the cost of what it would normally be to do a group cohort with me. If you’re interested, please go to WORTH Education Series | WORTH to learn more and register. The class begins March 6th.

My guest today is Heidi Monuteaux. Heidi is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and provides services for those who reside in Washington State, Idaho and Utah.

Story Time:

• Reminder: gaslighting is when we end up taking on thoughts, feelings, perspectives, beliefs, and values as our own, at the hands of hidden behaviors.
• Overarchingly, gaslighting around our marriage status occurs the most through brainwashing/indoctrination, coercion and manipulation.
• Pay special attention to minimization of a single person’s fulfillment/happiness.

Top Take-Aways:

• Give yourself permission to call out the GASLIGHT-Y things people say (they don't have to be evil).
• Get curious about how YOU have thought about your worthiness as a single person vs being in an intimate partnership.
• Define: alone, content, happy, fulfilled, etc. - for yourself!
• Figure out what YOU want your life to look like and define that for yourself!

If you want to understand more about the ways gaslighting has shown up in your life and robbed you of being able to be free to be you, check out my and Heidi’s websites. We both have offerings that will help you break the hold gaslighting has had over you and help you step into that Radical self-love.

Follow me and Heidi on your preferred social media platform… I’m on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok; Heidi is on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

And remember – you may have crashed and burned; been broke and hurt, but damn it, You’re a phoenix and you’re rising again. I think it’s time we fly.