S3 Ep17 Wild Granny

The Holy F*ck Podcast

Are your stories about your family really true? Listen as the Gals expose the roots of the Family Tree.

Earth shaking, earth moving under my feet...roots of trees starting to rumble from underneath and get really exposed.

1.22- Uncertainty in the world, go searching for safety back to our roots. Is this safe, will we be ok? KK isn’t sure her foundation is the safety net, even though she wanted it to be, just not the thing she thought it was.

2.14 Turn ourselves into pretzels to be safe. Whole 1st chakra- safety in tribe- food, safety, nurturing, but does it last?

3.17- piggybacking off last week’s episode on KK moving out of the country. Prob triggering their desire for her to be safe.

4.03 but KK didn’t hear it from her dad that way until she gave it time.

4.36- KK looking at family lineage, belief systems and questioning them and in the final stage of surrender and release of needing them to be her safety.

5.14- old story was Dad abandoned her, Mom was her Queen of safety.

6.04- Estranged through college and after, on this Mother Daughter journey of understanding, healing (epiphany- Im alone in the world, separation from blood family, and grieving that and feeling some relief in the release).

7.18 Overidentified w/ Mom but couldn’t be like her at her Dad’s.

8.09- At 30 just decided to stop trying to engage everyone, wasting time & energy.

8.32- realized recently that her Dad has been the one constant contact- whole story of her life is blown out of the water.

9.56- opened up space to where she doesn’t feel responsible to either Mom or Dad.

11.07- recent realization she had more familial ties on Dad’s side. Great Aunt made a comment about how KK is like her Great Grandmother. Grandma passed two days ago, not close but had a deep heart connection.

12.11- felt lost opportunity to get to know someone who she could have a real world connection w/ not felt like black sheep.

12.49- KM fairly frictionous relationship w/ her dad. Only in the last few years has she been able to admit she’s like him.

13.38- interesting to integrate the “other” parent.

14.45- KK Dad’s Grandma jumped a train to VA, while pregnant to escape abusive husband, landed in Kansas… considered a wild woman. Grandmother’s mom traveled to foreign countries by herself in the mid 1900’s.

15.07- just finding out the roots of the trees.

16.28- how hard it is to claim a part of ourselves when we don’t know where it’s coming from- you’re off, peculiar, different from the immediate birth family.

18.22- It is who (KK) is, always has been but always questioned bc she didn’t know it was in her lineage.

19.33- A-ha moment- Dad’s side- stories of men are passed down and celebrated, despite having wild women in their tree.

20.27- Grandfather (the abusive one) flew with Charles Lindberg and was shooting up the town below, “shot it up from the ground, shot it up from the sky.” image of this legendary man.

21.14- Do you know your lineage? Do you know who your gma ggma were? Do you know what they were involved in, were they politically active? Do you know if they were like you. Are the stories you think you know true and how have they affected your decision making and choices in life?

22.06- Can embrace the wild side. Honoring yourself and your truth.

22.43- what have you always known about yourself to be true but never let yourself have? Go digging to the bottom to find it.

23.23- KK has judged herself through Maternal lens, lifestyle didn’t fit in with hers. Now she knows it will be okay. Doesn’t have to let it change what she does. Even at this age she’s still worried about disappointing others.

24.55- KK’s gonna light it up from the ground, and light it up from the sky.

25.17- stories from family that we don’t belong but then we find out more information and it makes sense.

25.36- we create evidence to support our stories.

26.22- Stories are a big part of what we ruin our life over- hold a grudge, feels good to punish them.

29.06- GREAT PLace to do forgiveness work around parents, be completely free.

29.56- write your own story. Not allowing your lineage to limit us. Wild=negative connotation, disappointment, deemed bad.

31.16- Let’s find out who’s in our past, where can you free yourself up from a story you’ve made up about who you are in your family. Not in your lineage, maybe in a past life. Whatever we can do to support living as ourselves

31.49- Incredible timing since KK was craving this boost from her family.

32.37- KK’s new experiences have been based in ancestry, letting those stories support her. Accordion of time and space continuum- what is happening in which moment? Touching into an eternity of streak of gold in life that can carry her.

34.12- KK has hillbillies shooting up towns and KM’s has kings and queens, of course…

34.59- this is where shamanism is fun, can take you back into your lineage in a way that you wouldn’t normally go & flood you with wild stories of your life.

35.24- After last week’s episode, a friend reached out to her- how great a mom she is, told her story of her mom; she’s responsible for her own happiness. Appreciate feedback from listeners and share their stories.

36.52- Beauty of living in the spiritual context of life: KK asked for support she needed last week and it showed up

37.57- doesn’t matter who it is or what it looks like.

38.19- don’t have to ask in the perfect way, say the perfect prayer, you are always supported. Point of spiritual life is a context you live in and you are supported just because.

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