The Thirteenth Hour Podcast #435: Another Randomly Picked Thirteenth Hour Reading

The Thirteenth Hour Podcast

The Thirteenth Hour Podcast #435: Another Randomly Picked Thirteenth Hour Reading

https://archive.org/download/podcast-435/Podcast%20435.mp3

This week’s episode is a randomly selected section of The Thirteenth Hour. Eyes closed, I flipped through the book and landed on this section of Chapter 23. This section of the book has a few 80s movie references (Back to the Future, The Last Starfighter) and was probably influenced by the tone of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. Let’s go!

Deep within the reaches of the universe, beyond all known reality, in the Land of Dreams, one could hear voices chattering noisily in this usually tranquil dimension.

“Dreamweaver, I have discovered a disturbance in the cosmos.”

“Yes, what is it?” inquired the Dreamweaver to his assistant.

“A man was about to lose his life, and it wasn’t destined to be yet.”

“Hmm. This is really getting to be a regular thing these days. Completely unacceptable.”

“I’m sorry, Dreamweaver. We are working full time to repair these disturbances.”

“No, no, I know you are. It’s just that … well, it looks damned sloppy on our part.”

“I understand, sir. We think the problems started 5,293.6 years ago when there was some … well, confusion about the use of XP–601.4 forms instead of XP–601.5.”

“Really! Are you serious? I don’t even know what the hell those things are!”

“But Dreamweaver, the XP–601.4 is a pre–birth application. Very different from XP–601.5, which is … well, pre–death.”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense. Who designed this portion of the Dreamscape, anyway?”

“Well, you did, sir.”

“What! I seriously don’t believe I would have been so asinine to come up with such an error–prone, red–tape, cockamamie, banana–republic–government–type–of–system as …”

The manual was placed in front of him.

“Hmmm. Yes, well, I see I did. But I think this portion was ghost-written. Anyway, 5,293.6 years ago is no time at all; this issue has been going on much longer than that. This can’t be the only reason for this issue.”

“Of course, Dreamweaver. We are continuing to investigate.”

“Good man. So, what are we going to do about this poor chap? What did you say this man’s name was?”

“The one who was here before – the one I believe you called Logan.”

“Great Scott! The one who discovered one of the secrets to eternal life? I knew he’d be in trouble sooner or later. I knew it! He had a knack for tempting the fates. I should have known his future wouldn’t go smoothly. Oh, this is a damned embarrassment. What the hell happened?”

“He was dying … got himself a mortal wound. I say, these humans and their love business. Makes one so … impulsive. Dove in front of that magic bolt aimed at the female; that wasn’t supposed to happen, either. This is all so irregular.”

“Yes, quite.”

“I didn’t know what to do, so right before he was to die, I transformed his body into a dream and whisked him away from the Earth. I brought him here.”

“All right, good work!”

“Thank you, sir. Just doing my job. Oh … and sir, there was this … small creature with him. The mole wasn’t supposed to perish, either, but it was to be killed in the blast.”

The Dreamweaver winced.

“But, as with Logan, I transformed the mole into a dream and brought it here.”

“Very good. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

The Dreamweaver sensed Logan’s presence. He turned to face the transparent form. There was a tiny shimmer next to Logan’s presence.

“Oh, Logan, this wasn’t supposed to happen at all. Now, I can see you fine, but please tell me, can you hear me?”

There was a ripple through the molecular fabric of the transparent form that no one but the Dreamweaver could see.

“All right then. Very good.”

The Dreamweaver, using a series of squeaks and grunts, articulated something that the mole in dream form must have understood, because it also shimmered.

“Now, Logan, you are now a dream. And so is your little pet. I must say, Logan, your track record with small woodland creatures as pets is not what I’d call the best. But, I must say, this time, it wasn’t your fault. Because, believe me, this was not supposed to happen! According to what we have foreseen, you are destined to have a long and prosperous life! Err, that’s what it says in your records, anyway. Of course, destinies can change somewhat, but not this much! This is all highly irregular! Some kind of cosmic screw–up, I’m afraid. It does happen from time to time, no need to worry, but as to why … well, we still haven’t figured it out. There are, err, bugs in the system that crop up from time to time. Might be a problem with the XP–601 form set. Most inconvenient. Does that make any sense? Oh, bother, of course it doesn’t. I don’t even understand it. Can you forgive me?”

There was another ripple in the transparent form. The Dreamweaver then translated to the tiny shimmering form next to Logan, then continued.

“Right, well, see, the strange thing is that you weren’t supposed to die when you fought Klax. You were destined to kill him, and that part of your destiny you did fulfill, but he was never supposed to kill you! In fact, you weren’t supposed to get injured at all! But luckily, one of my assistants caught the error and brought you here in time. So technically, you’re not dead, Logan. You’re still alive. We just had to transform you into a dream to get you here. That process healed whatever wounds you might have had. Next, we must return you to Earth where you can finish your life there. I’m terribly sorry about all this. I don’t know what to say; it’s all so highly irregular! It wasn’t supposed to be this way at all! You forgive me?” he asked again.

Another ripple.

“Sir, about the one called Aurora …” started another of the invisible assistants.

“Good Creator, there isn’t something wrong with her destiny now, is there? I’m starting to feel like the village idiot here. This is all damned embarrassing.”

“No, no, sir. It’s just that we cast a healing spell over her. She’s asleep now. This way, she’ll awake tomorrow morning, healed of her wounds, when Logan returns.”

“Thank the Creator. Very good.”

“Oh, and sir? Never mind about the XP–601 forms. I mean, that’s still a problem, but not the one in question now. I’m happy to say that the others and I have located the error in Logan’s destiny! It apparently got mixed up with that of a life form from the sixth dimension. Just a case of crossed wires, you could say. There was a leak in the molecular fabric between the sixth dimension and his. Pretty simple problem, actually, although routine maintenance would have caught the problem long ago, and that would have prevented all of this. We’re working right now to patch the molecular fabric between Logan’s dimension and the sixth.”

“Excellent!” Turning to the transparent form once again, the Dreamweaver continued to speak.

“I don’t know what I would do without good help. So, you see, Logan? Apparently, thanks to the diligence of my crew here, there’s nothing to worry about. Tomorrow you’ll go back to Earth in your human form. By then, the tear between the dimensions should be fixed. You must stay a dream until then, since nothing can happen to you in this form. Your destiny is officially on hold until you return to Earth in your human form. But in the meantime, feel free to look around and eat at one of our fine restaurants. Oh, and I’ll tell you what! At the stroke of the thirteenth hour, why don’t you go down to Earth with the other dreams? Since Aurora is asleep, why don’t you go into her mind? Just to let her know that you’re okay. Take your little friend here. Would you like that?”

The transparent form rippled.

Thanks for listening!

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Check out the growing line of Thirteenth Hour toys and other products on the Thirteenth Hour Studio Etsy store (https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThirteenthHourStudio). There are a number of custom figures from retro films being sold for charity that available there as well. For example, the hunter action figure from A Shadow in the Moonlight is now done and available on Etsy!

There is also a growing collection of Thirteenth Hour stickers on The Thirteenth Hour Studio store on Redbubble!

Check out this collaboration with past show guest Jeff Finley on handpan:

Follow along on Spotify! There is also a growing extended Thirteenth Hour playlist on Spotify with a growing number of retro 80s songs.

Check it out!

As always, thanks for listening!

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