Stepfamilies and Holidays: Blending Your Family Traditions - Ron Deal

Blended Families

FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript

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Blending Your Family Traditions

Guests: Ron Deal and Bob and Vicki Maday

From the series: Stepfamilies and Holidays

Bob: Bob and Vicki Maday married late in life. Both had lost a spouse; and Bob says neither of them were prepared for the impact the holidays would have on their attempt to blend a new family.

Bob M: We had taken some lead, as we were getting counseled in our remarriage, that we would try to start some new traditions. We made every effort to make new things sort of happen in our new family. The interesting thing that happened was—when it came to Christmas—that tradition sort of superseded anything else that we had expected. We were put under pressure to hold the tradition in place, and it was quite interesting.

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, December 17th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. If you are in a blended family and you’re headed into the holidays for the first time, get ready.

And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. I’m just curious. You’ve had a number of pictures taken of your family over the years; right?

Dennis: Right.

Bob: To your knowledge, any airbrushing ever done?

Dennis: Oh, absolutely. [Laughter] Photoshop, airbrushing—you can’t get a family perfect—I mean, in real life or in photography.

Bob: So, those Christmas pictures I’ve been getting through the years bear only a marginal resemblance to the real thing—— is what you’re saying.

Dennis: When I introduce my family and I show a picture, I say, “You know how we got that picture? We photo-shopped in two children”—

Bob: Right.

Dennis: —“who weren’t even in the picture at the time. We opened the eyes of two or three kids who never can seem to keep their eyes open during a picture.” And I say, “You know what? There is a reason for that because all families have their blemishes.”

Bob: Well, you had to take a couple hundred shots to get one where everybody was looking at the camera; right?

Dennis: Well, this was back in the days when you used to take, like, ten rolls.

Bob: I remember rolls.

Dennis: Hundreds—

Bob: Yes, I remember rolls.

Dennis: —hundreds of pictures to get a good one. I won’t tell you which one of our kids, but we had one—this child was called “The Many Faces of Blank”. I mean, if there was a way to make a strange-looking face,—

Bob: This child could do it.

Dennis: —this child did it. I’ve done a good job of protecting the identity, at this point.

Bob: The reason I ask you if you’ve ever had anything airbrushed is because this is going to be one of those non-airbrushed days—

Dennis: Oh, yes.

Bob: —as we talk about the holidays, and families, and challenges, and tensions, and, particularly, how those can emerge during the holiday season if you’re in a remarriage or a blended family situation.

Dennis: That’s exactly right, Bob. We’re sitting here about to have a conversation about blended families because listeners came alongside FamilyLife and said, “We’re going to donate, and we’re going to make this ministry possible. We want this outreach to reach all families.” That’s really what I want to talk to you about, here, at the beginning of the broadcast. FamilyLife is facing a serious shortfall in donations. I just need to ask you, as a listener, “If you’ve benefited personally from our broadcast, here on FamilyLife Today, would you stand with us with a donation, here at yearend?”

We’ve had a group of families that have come along side us and said, “We believe in what you are doing. You’ve helped us, and we want to help other families.” They’ve helped establish a $3.6 million match—here in December—that will match every dollar you give, up to $3.6 million. You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation. You can help us take advantage—take full advantage of the $3.6 million match, here in December. Your dollar can become two. Help us so we can help you—and we can help your friends.

Bob: Well, again, go online to make a donation at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, “I CARE”; or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY. We just want to say, “Thanks,” in advance, for whatever you are able to do in support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today.
Now, you want to introduce our guests who are going to be joining us today?

Dennis: I do. First of all, is Ron Deal. He is the Director of Blended Family Ministries, here at FamilyLife—is a prolific author, has written a brand-new book. In fact, Ron, explain to our listeners what Life in a Blender is all about. It’s subtitled Living in a Stepfamily, a guide for kids.

Ron: Well, first of all, it’s great to be back on the broadcast with both of you. As you know, our blended family ministry endeavors to equip blended families—stepfamilies—to go the distance, to build families of grace that honor God and create a climate where children can grow to know the Lord and to be loved.

We’ve written a number of materials, books. We have DVD’s for adults. We’ve never done anything for kids until now. Life in a Blender: Living in a Stepfamily is a booklet designed for children—easy-to-read booklet for kids, ages 10 and up. It comes with a free parent discussion guide. The idea is to get your kid thinking about a few things that they’re probably feeling—put some words on it—then, give parents an opportunity to interact with their child around that—

Dennis: Yes.

Ron: —and create dialogue that let’s both of them understand each other better and move forward, as a family.

Dennis: You’ve got more than 25...