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If we ever want to live in sexual health, we must know our patterns. This isn't just our patterns of fantasy or sexually acting out. This extends to understanding our digital patterns—how we use technology in unhealthy ways. Today, we are joined by Jason Mathew, founder of LeadMeNot, a digital wellness company. Jason shares his story of sexual brok…
 
When addressing unwanted sexual behavior or any level of sexual brokenness, the language of "addiction" is difficult to accept. What is it that makes something an addiction? What makes it a sexual addiction? To help us understand sexual addiction and its impact, we talk to Dr. Adrian Hickmon, a therapist and the founder of Capstone Treatment Center…
 
Life becomes difficult when you lose your job, ministry, community, and home. This is the story of Nate and Maggie Blaylock. Because of Nate’s unwanted sexual behavior and addiction, not only did they have to leave the community they were a part of, they had to completely start over in another city. But that’s not where their story ended. Through t…
 
Effectively supporting our church’s Pure Desire groups is multi-faceted. The words we use from the stage during a weekend service, the oversight offered to group leaders, and the frequency of announcing groups—these all impact recovery and healing groups in our church. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our newest team members, Immanuel Gar…
 
Sexual love is God’s beautiful creation. But for so many of us, our brokenness negatively impacts it. This past September at the Pure Desire Summit, Dr. Juli Slattery spoke on the four pillars of sexual love and what makes it such a beautiful gift from God. On today’s episode, we feature her Summit breakout session. Dr. Slattery covers how the impo…
 
Recovery and healing as a single or unmarried person can often seem confusing. Is there something wrong or lesser about me because I'm not married? What does sexual health look like as a single or unmarried person? On today's frequently asked questions episode, we cover many different aspects of being single or unmarried in recovery and healing. We…
 
Healing from sexual betrayal is an incredibly important journey. In order to best help partners heal from the trauma experienced through sexual betrayal, we must understand what the partner needs. On today’s episode, we interview the founding president of The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS), Dr. Barbara Steffens. …
 
Women who experience sexual betrayal need healing just as much as their addicted spouses. The damage that betrayal trauma creates is massive. Women need a place to heal and process their experiences. This is what Betrayal & Beyond was created for—a group context and healing resource that facilitates the healing God provides those who’ve experienced…
 
Women who struggle with unwanted sexual behavior feel double shame. First off, they feel shame because of their struggle. Secondly, they feel shame because they struggle with an area often addressed as a “man’s issue.” Sexual brokenness is not a respecter of gender. Men and women both struggle with unwanted sexual behaviors. We are now in week 3 of…
 
Today is week 2 of our 4-week Running Effective Pure Desire Groups series. This week we look at our recovery groups for men: Seven Pillars Of Freedom. We spend time unpacking how to best run these 8-week Sexual Integrity 101 groups. We talk through who these groups are for, what is covered in the 8 weeks, and how this course is a catalyst for launc…
 
Today begins a 4-part series on running effective Pure Desire groups. Week 1 is focused on our introductory video course: Sexual Integrity 101. We spend time unpacking how to best run these 8-week Sexual Integrity 101 groups. We talk through who these groups are for, what is covered in the 8 weeks, and how this course is a catalyst for launching Pu…
 
It's natural to want others to experience the healing and freedom Pure Desire groups have given us. But for so many of us, the notion of bringing groups to our church is daunting. This is why Pure Desire has created a roadmap for developing a purity ministry at your church. In today's episode, we want through each step of this roadmap and give enco…
 
This week, we throw it back to 2021 and the Pure Desire Summit! Robert Vander Meer taught a breakout session at the Summit titled, Emotions Below The Surface. As we are now only 10 days away from the 2022 Summit, we thought we'd give you a taste of what's in store. Spoiler alert: Robert is one of the plenary speakers at this year's Summit! Explore …
 
The theme of the 2022 Pure Desire Summit (Sept. 16-17, 2022) is “ALL IN.” But what does that mean? What does it look like to go “ALL IN” for our recovery and healing? On today’s episode, we talk through what an “ALL IN” approach to our healing journey looks like, how to identify our next steps in recovery, and the benefits of seeing recovery as a l…
 
One of the most needed guardrails in recovery revolves around technology. We consider how to use our computers or devices. One question many ask is, "What about my smartphone?" On today's episode, we talk to Chris Kaspar, CEO of Techless—a company offering a phone designed to cut out unnecessary distractions like social media, addictions, and adver…
 
Part of the recovery journey is giving back. Sharing our story, leading Pure Desire groups, and even giving back financially. Today, we’re joined by two members of our advancement team, John Begeman and Rodney Wright. John and Rodney talk about the role generosity plays in the recovery process, how God is using donations to expand sexual health, an…
 
A common aspect of the full disclosure process is a polygraph. Polygraphs can carry a certain stigma with them. But what is a polygraph and what benefit does it offer a couple going through recovery and healing? Today, we’re joined by our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen. Tyler gives us an inside look at what a polygraph is, how it fits into the f…
 
Each of us carries two types of “self.” Our authentic self—who God has made us to be. And our adapted self—the facade we’ve created to protect ourselves from pain and difficulty. On today’s episode, we talk to Marilyn Vancil, a spiritual director, coach, and author of Self To Lose, Self To Find. Marilyn talks us through how to identify which self w…
 
A switch gets flipped when we begin to understand why we do what we do (especially with our unwanted behaviors). This understanding isn’t gained easily, but when it is, it changes the whole game. On today’s episode, we’re joined by a friend of the show who is an author, speaker, and influencer to the next generation–Ben Bennett. Ben joins us to hel…
 
Whether it’s been caught or taught, many of us believe self-care is selfish. We can so easily see and encourage it in others, but when it comes to our own self-care, we dismiss it as too “self-focused.” Why do we believe this? Does this belief cause damage? How can we change this underlying belief? Today, we are joined by Traci Wright (Pure Desire …
 
We all have some form of unwanted behavior in our life. Whether it's pornography, affairs, fantasy, or any other form of sexual brokenness, understanding where these behaviors come from is essential! If we want to break free from our unwanted behaviors, we must understand them. If we truly want to understand our unwanted behaviors, we must be curio…
 
On today’s new FAQ episode, we cover a lot. This is what these episodes are for: giving answers to tough questions. Today’s topics include emotional anorexia, white-knuckling, sexual content in video games, getting triggered at the gym, same-sex attraction, and more! RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Recovery Action Plan (Struggling Spouse) Re…
 
Today, our podcast turns 5! We’re so thankful for you (the listeners/viewers) for tuning in each week and encouraging us to keep pushing the conversation forward. On today's livestream recording, we're: reading some reviews of the show, talking through why we started and will continue to do the podcast, covering some Pure Desire history and the pod…
 
When is the best time to start groups in my church? What should be my first steps? What if I don’t have buy-in from my pastor/leader? Do we need groups for men and women? These are the questions all of us ask when starting Pure Desire groups in our church. These and many other questions can leave us directionless and with little hope on starting gr…
 
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