Episode 38 - Part 4: working and getting sucked in without considering your future and/or value

Letters to my kids: A suicide survivor's lessons and advice for life

Episode 38 - Part 4: working and getting sucked in without considering your future and/or value

Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. Cohen From the Free Music Archive Released under a Creative Commons Attribution International License

- I asked my boss for a raise but he said I didn't deserve it so I sent him my resignation letter. Now he is asking me to stay with a higher salary. Should I accept his offer? The experts will tell you - never - never - EVER accept a counter-offer. Your resignation has already placed you in the outer circle and you will remain there forever. Just leave.

- Want to know the best way to cover this? If you know the company likes you and your work, present them with the following: “You know, over time I’ve received a lot of offers to join other companies. I’m not really interested in any of them. I’m happy here. I like the company, the work, the direction we’re going, and I know the company can’t match some of these offers. I get it. All I’m saying is, my wife and I discuss these things, and she’s aware of the money I could make at these other companies. It’s a lot of pressure. My question is, even if the company can’t match any of those offers, could the company close the gap a little? If not, I totally understand. You’re running a business and will pay me what you think I’m worth. Let me know your thoughts.”

- In this, we are appealing to their priorities without threats, resignations, or ultimatums. We are recognizing their priorities while sharing a reality - other companies think I’m worth more. We’re also showing we are committed to the company’s goals - we’re not interested in leaving and we are happy here. We’re also showing a spirit of cooperation in not requiring a “match” - just a bump.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. " -Eleanor Roosevelt

- The first time I said this to a boss, I told him what I was being offered and he whistled. “We can’t match that.” - I said “I know, and like I said, I’m not asking you to. I’m just wondering if you can close the gap a little. If that’s my market value, seems you would want to take a stab at closing the gap. I’m happy here. I’m not interested in leaving.”

- Every time I’ve tried this, the boss worked out a raise for me. Life went on and we went on to do a lot of things together. Non-threatening. No destroyed trust. No extortion. Asking for a raise isn’t particularly an art form. You need to think like your boss thinks - what are his priorities, goals objectives

"I rebel; therefore I exist. " -Albert Camus