Don't Pretend to Be a Nympho, it Will Bite You in the Ass!

Romancipation

S5 Episode 9: Don’t Pretend to Be a Nympho, it Will Bite You in the Ass!

Episode Summary

Female sexuality is a very influential and perilous factor in any romantic relationship. A woman’s power is often tied to her sexual prowess. The more desire she can elicit from a partner, the more control she will wield in the relationship. In turn, women often feel the need to present themselves as a willing and enthusiastic participant when it comes to sexual activity. Being seen as a sexual dynamo may get you what you want in the early stages of a relationship, but it can come to haunt you as the relationship progresses.
It is critical that you are clear with your motivations for having sex with your partner. Is it for sexual gratification, the creation of intimacy, to create a child or to win some type of financial or emotional favor? Whatever it may be, it should line up with the expectations your partner will have as a result.
Moreover, be careful to not use sex as a weapon, distraction or apology. It will not serve you or your partner to have sexual intimacy associated with negative feelings. Sex should always be about mutual pleasure, consent, trust and respect.
At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how frustrating it is when a partner says they are fine when it’s obvious they are upset.

Show Notes

For some, sex is a tool for luring a partner in. But what happens when you pretend to be a nympho when your relationship begins? It’s really important for women to enjoy sex and have a strong connection to their body. However, because sex is mental and emotional, it’s also important to tune into your motivations.

Giving a false sense of your sexual desire—type, duration, frequency, or otherwise—will eventually lead to disappointment and resentment. This is known as the “ol’ bait and switch,” and it doesn’t serve you. In fact, it hurts your sexual credibility. Be realistic about what you’re actually comfortable with.

When you play the nympho who always wants it, you’re setting expectations you may not be interested in fulfilling long-term. When you set high expectations, you will underdeliver. Instead, you could set lower expectations and, when you feel in the mood, overdeliver in a way that surprises your partner.

On that note, sex should never be used as an apology or to gain love. It makes for an invalidating “apology,” and having sex never guarantees love. Sex is also often used as a form of punishment, which is counterproductive. Don’t be a nympho for material possessions. It turns an intimate act into a transactional one, even when you’re married.

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When your partner says they’re fine when they obviously are not. It may be a sign the person does not feel comfortable expressing their feelings—or it’s a passive-aggressive move. It inevitably leads to resentment and denies the resolution both people most likely want.

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