Passion is Not the Same as Jealousy: One Thrills and the Other Kills

Romancipation

S4 Episode 10: Passion is Not the Same as Jealousy: One Thrills and the Other Kills

Episode Summary

Passion is something that we all look for in a romantic relationship, but how we define passion can vary. Often people place too much value on passion as a way to measure the success of a partnership. Viewing a lack of excitement as a sign the relationship is not healthy or fulfilling is misdirected.
Passion, like many things, can evolve in a relationship. It can be more subtle than the thrill of sexual excitement. It can exist in multiple aspects of your shared life with your romantic partner. Passion can be stimulating or inspiring. It should never be scary or threatening.
Passion is not drama or jealousy. If you or your partner need to create emotional upheavals to feel something, that is unhealthy behavior that should be addressed. Passion should be a positive experience that is shared by the couple. Jealousy is a one-sided emotion that signals insecurity and a desire to control another person.
At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss the frustrating situation of people asking for relationship advice without any intention of following it.

Show Notes

We’re told passion is important to have in our lives, whether that’s towards hobbies, a job, or a relationship. Passion can be a positive thing, but it’s important to distinguish the difference between passion and jealousy, especially in romantic relationships. Passion is great for a relationship, while jealousy can crush it.
Passion is emotional and dramatic. It’s supposed to be thrilling, but it should never be threatening. That is one way you can highlight the difference between passion and jealousy. Some people want drama, or “movie moments” in their relationship. Over-the-top gestures may be exciting, but it’s also where jealousy can sneak in.
Jealousy is never a positive thing. It comes from insecurity. If your partner is jealous of your accomplishments or other relationships, it’s not your fault. The jealousy is an internal struggle of their own. Some people use “passion” as an excuse to act poorly in their relationships. This person might say something along the lines of “I do this because I love you so much.” That’s a red flag.
Any partner who automatically views your interactions with others as flirtatious—even when it’s just saying “thank you” to the delivery guy—is showing a clear sign of jealousy. When you question them, they may try to excuse their controlling behavior as passion. Passion is shared, jealousy is not.
In this episode, the vent session topic is: When people ask for relationship advice but never take it. It’s frustrating and a waste of time for the person who was kind enough to listen and offer suggestions. It makes the advice giver feel used. It makes it seem like the person asking for advice actually wants validation—not guidance.
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