#286 A Choice Between Love and Legacy

The Niall Boylan Podcast (They Told Me To Shut Up)

In this episode, Niall asks, "Is it selfish to leave your partner for the chance of parenthood?" The discussion is sparked by an emotional email from a listener who faces a heartbreaking decision. After ten years with his wife and a tragic miscarriage, the listener is grappling with the fact that they cannot have biological children together. His wife has come to terms with this reality, even suggesting adoption, but he can't shake the longing for a biological family. Now, he wonders if leaving his wife to pursue this dream is the right thing to do, even though he still loves her deeply. Is it unreasonable to prioritize the dream of parenthood over a long-standing relationship?

Some callers think he should stay with his wife. They highlight the deep love and bond he shares with her, suggesting that there are other ways to build a family, such as fostering or adoption, and that leaving could lead to regret. They emphasize the importance of the relationship he has and encourage him to focus on what they’ve built together, exploring alternative paths to parenthood instead of walking away.

While other callers feel that if having biological children is truly his dream, it might be best to leave. They argue that both partners deserve happiness, and staying in a relationship where one person harbors resentment could cause long-term harm. For them, it’s not selfish to want children, but they advise handling the situation with empathy and care for both himself and his wife.