Empowered & Effective: How Moms of Autistic Children Can Set Healthy Boundaries

Thriving Moms of Autistics

Hi Moms! Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs there is. All moms have similar challenges along the way, but raising an autistic involves another level of need that others don’t always understand.

When this happens, moms don’t feel supported and understood.

In this episode, I explore the common pressures moms experience that impact their own well-being and tips to set boundaries with others.

Find the full transcript for this episode at

https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/75

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How Did We Get to a Place Where Autism Moms Feel So Unsupported?

Early on, moms are trying to navigate the unique needs of an autistic child and how to best meet those needs.

This might be their first child or they might have only neurotypical children. If so, the journey is quite different.

Although I had been a family therapist for many years, I had little experience with babies and toddlers. I was an only child and didn’t have my son until I was 41.

I had a lot to learn about babies and toddlers. My parents had passed away, so I had to figure it out on my own.

Surprisingly, it came naturally to me. Unfortunately, I missed some of the common milestones that he should have been meeting. Some moms from my neurotypical mom group said it was no big deal.

When it came time to see an ENT, my peers could not believe they were concerned about autism and requesting an evaluation.

I have noticed that this is common and that others feel very uncomfortable with the idea of autism. So, they lean into their denial.

It doesn’t have to be that way. I talk about this often. Autism is not a dirty word. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

Moms and their children should feel empowered on their journey. These misconceptions and refusal to understand are why so many feel less than, and THAT is a tragedy!

Common Struggles Moms of Autistics Experience

I just explored how moms often feel unheard and unsupported. Moms also struggle with feeling judged leading to isolation.

Parents often stay away from places that are not autism friendly, which is most places. The world has yet to catch up understanding autism.

This might be play groups, church, family member’s homes, and more. We have played musical chairs with churches. Family members from the other side of the family have been resistant to understanding our son’s needs.

Sadly, this is what families experience. I have a friend that noticed that she and her husband had a hard time attending church service because there was no one to watch their daughter.

She could not find a nearby church with a special needs ministry, so she started one herself. Now, they have a full time ministry.

Sometimes moms experience an invalidation of their experiences. This is all too common.

Unsolicited advice and inferring that a mom is doing something wrong when you don’t fully understand yourself, is not okay.

Most people are trying to help and understand. Advice is common in our society. We try to fix things. Attuning others by simply listening to them and validating their emotions goes a long way.

Constantly explaining yourself or fighting to advocate for your child is exhausting.

How Do Moms of Autistics Release Themselves From Taking on Other’s Misconceptions and Need to Help?

Here are practical 3 tips to