How to spot a narc co-parent.

Tiny Pep Talks for Stepparents

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!)

I’m not here to armchair diagnose anyone or water down the word ‘narcissist’ — which is an actual diagnosable mental disorder — but I do want stepparents and their partners to be aware when they’re involved in a dysfunctional co-parenting situation that goes way beyond the realm of standard post-divorce stuff.

So here’s some signs you’re probably co-parenting with a narcissist… or at the very least, a toxic and/or high conflict ex:

• Nothing is ever their fault; things are always happening to them.
• They’re game-playing pros — they’ll agree just enough to make you think they’re going along with your suggestion, but only if doing so somehow serves their own interests. Or gives them a different way to control you.
• Narcissists are deeply competitive people who view everything as a competition. They don’t want to lose and they don’t like being told what to do.
• They’re concerned with themselves first and foremost over anyone else. Everything is about them: their time, their money, their child. If they can’t see how something will serve them on a personal level, they won’t participate.

Most of all, a narcissist doesn’t co-parent — they counter-parent. A narc co-parent has their own agenda and they view anything outside that agenda as a threat… even your attempts to co-parent amicably.

A high conflict ex does not care about the collateral damage they cause along the way, including the damage they cause to their own kids.

For all of these reasons and many more than I could share in a 2-minute pep talk, trying to compromise more with a high-conflict, toxic, or narcissist ex will not improve your co-parenting relationship.

But putting stronger boundaries in place can make a noticeable difference for the better — for you and your kids. For help getting started, please go read this: ➡️ THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF HIGH-CONFLICT CO-PARENTING 👀

--

🧡 Need a bigger pep talk? Start here or join us over on Substack! xo