It’s Not About You; Avoid Misunderstandings In Your Relationships

Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

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You Can Visit All Seven Continents. But Should You? 26:46

10 dni temu26:46

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For many travelers, Antarctica is a bucket-list destination, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to touch all seven continents. In 2023, a record-breaking 100,000 tourists made the trip. But the journey begs a fundamental question: What do we risk by traveling to a place that is supposed to be uninhabited by humans? And as the climate warms, should we really be going to Antarctica in the first place? SHOW NOTES: Kara Weller: The Impossible Dilemma of a Polar Guide Marilyn Raphael: A twenty-first century structural change in Antarctica’s sea ice system Karl Watson: First Time in Antarctica Jeb Brooks : 7 Days in Antarctica (Journey to the South Pole) Metallica - Freeze 'Em All: Live in Antarctica Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices…

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One of the things that often causes misunderstandings in relationships is perceived slights. These are small things, but if you are not communicating openly and honestly, these presumed slights may slowly turn into a mountain of accumulated wrongdoings.

It’s Not About You; Avoid Misunderstandings In Your Relationships

Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

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1
How Attentive Listening Strengthens Your Relationships 6:07

5 dni temu6:07

6:07

MAUDE: Pay attention! Listen! These seem like rather simple admonishments. And yet, so many of us find it very challenging to do so. Listening to others with an open heart and full attention seems to have become almost a lost … How Attentive Listening Strengthens Your Relationships Read More »

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How Peaceful Relationships Create the Freedom to Be Yourself 5:07

12 dni temu5:07

5:07

MAUDE: Peaceful relationships are attractive. Once you have experienced the kind of deep calm and relaxation that such a connection provides, it is natural to want more. Developing these kinds of interactions through the many methods we outline in our … How Peaceful Relationships Create the Freedom to Be Yourself Read More »…

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Why Differences Don’t Need to Create Problems in Your Relationships 3:39

19 dni temu3:39

3:39

Here’s a conversation we had the other night about why differences aren’t a problem for us. They don’t need to be a problem for you, either. PHIL: Let me try and describe the nature of our relationship. I look at … Why Differences Don’t Need to Create Problems in Your Relationships Read More »

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How Hanging Out Enhances and Strengthens Your Relationships 3:27

26 dni temu3:27

3:27

Maude, with a little assist from Phil, wrote today’s post. Phil and I have, since the very early days of our relationship, set aside a time every evening to be alone with each other. We do many different activities during … How Hanging Out Enhances and Strengthens Your Relationships Read More »

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Why Respect is Important for Creating Peaceful Relationships 5:29

5 weeks temu5:29

5:29

PHIL: Respect. Like many words, it has come to have several meanings. There is deference: you should respect your parents or pay your respects to someone. But in a relationship, it has a different meaning. When we started to talk … Why Respect is Important for Creating Peaceful Relationships Read More »…

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How to Find Joy, Peace and Inner Strength Through Your Relationships 4:46

6 weeks temu4:46

4:46

When we write these posts, we sit down, talk together, then write separately. This offers you the same subject from two different perspectives with a certain amount of overlap. PHIL: We usually pick what to write about by looking at … How to Find Joy, Peace and Inner Strength Through Your Relationships Read More »…

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Why Peaceful Relationships Depend on What You Do and Don’t Do 6:08

7 weeks temu6:08

6:08

MAUDE: It was recently our 20th anniversary of meeting (and a joyous celebration it was!), and Phil and I were talking about the components of our relationship and other deep relationships with friends and family. The flavor of those peaceful … Why Peaceful Relationships Depend on What You Do and Don’t Do Read More »…

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Why It’s Important to Relate to Community as Well as Individuals 4:54

8 weeks temu4:54

4:54

MAUDE: Recently, Phil and I and another friend attended a gathering to listen to our government representatives talk about the current situation. It was held a few blocks from where we live, here in Santa Barbara, CA. As we walked … Why It’s Important to Relate to Community as Well as Individuals Read More »…

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Embracing Acceptance: How to Let Go of Annoyances in Relationships 4:34

9 weeks temu4:34

4:34

MAUDE: Phil shared a thought last night: “Why get cross with anyone? You will only have to fix it later. It’s like knocking over a vase of flowers because you don’t like the arrangement. You’ll just have to mop up … Embracing Acceptance: How to Let Go of Annoyances in Relationships Read More »

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Rely on Relationships to Stay Sane in an Insane World 5:20

10 weeks temu5:20

5:20

MAUDE: In these challenging and turbulent times, it is important to fill your moments with presence; to be calmly, lovingly present. One of the best ways to do that is through your relationships. Stay connected; put extra attention and effort … Rely on Relationships to Stay Sane in an Insane World Read More »…

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Why Acknowledgment is Like a Magic Charm for Relationships 4:21

11 weeks temu4:21

4:21

PHIL: We were talking about the role of acknowledgment in relationships. At basis, it’s a recognition that the other person exists. You are saying “I see you”, which is incredibly affirming. It’s more than saying “Oh, there you are”; it’s … Why Acknowledgment is Like a Magic Charm for Relationships Read More »…

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How to Let Conflicts Go Until You Can Talk Without Charge 6:55

12 weeks temu6:55

6:55

Here’s a conversation we had that illustrates how you can connect without a negative charge on a topic that could be loaded. PHIL: I think this might be the perfect time to talk about something that happened a few days … How to Let Conflicts Go Until You Can Talk Without Charge Read More »

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Pay Attention – It’s How to Best Support Each Other 5:50

13 weeks temu5:50

5:50

MAUDE: Last week, Phil had a big birthday. I had been thinking of how to celebrate him for many months, and had made numerous suggestions to him for grandiose celebrations, parties and trips. He never responded with the least enthusiasm … Pay Attention – It’s How to Best Support Each Other Read More »…

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Just Talk to Each Other – It’s That Simple 3:57

14 weeks temu3:57

3:57

PHIL: It may seem obvious; of course you talk to your partner. But lots of conversations are about the shopping or politics or how bad the traffic was, while there can be a whole interior monologue going on that never … Just Talk to Each Other – It’s That Simple Read More »

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The Importance of Sharing Your Truth in Relationships 5:52

15 weeks temu5:52

5:52

PHIL: I had an imaginary conversation in my head: “Tell the truth; it’s so much easier than lying.” “But people would say mean, nasty, hurtful things!” “Oh, just tell the truth, but not in a mean, nasty, hurtful way. Instead, … The Importance of Sharing Your Truth in Relationships Read More »

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Let’s Create Peace in the World, One Relationship at a Time 3:39

17 weeks temu3:39

3:39

PHIL: We have a peaceful relationship. We don’t quarrel, attack each other or act passive-aggressively. Magic, huh? We do this through trust, acceptance and choosing to live peacefully. Our values are aligned so we can always find a point of … Let’s Create Peace in the World, One Relationship at a Time Read More »…

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A True Connection Between People Brings Peace and Joy 4:47

18 weeks temu4:47

4:47

PHIL: A few days ago, I had the sense that I wasn’t giving you enough attention; that I was wrapped up in myself and my thoughts and resented being disturbed and intruded on. I thought that that’s not a very … A True Connection Between People Brings Peace and Joy Read More »

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Make Fairness a Foundation of All Your Relationships 4:03

19 weeks temu4:03

4:03

When you practice fairness in your relationships, it is transforming. It is a quiet yet powerful type of assurance that acknowledges without words that you are always on the same side, wishing the best for each other, and knowing that it is mutual. Read more ›

1
How to Avoid Reacting With Blame and Anger in Your Relationships 4:50

20 weeks temu4:50

4:50

MAUDE: We wrote a post last week about dealing with strong negative or difficult reactions to the decisions, actions and behaviors of others, most particularly those with whom you have deep relationships. We suggested turning inside and looking at your … How to Avoid Reacting With Blame and Anger in Your Relationships Read More »…

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How to Replace Blame With Honesty in Your Relationships 5:35

21 weeks temu5:35

5:35

This week several things happened that illustrate an important aspect of experiencing peace within relationships. MAUDE: My older son and his wife just purchased a condo in Mammoth. They decided to celebrate that with the family and invited us all … How to Replace Blame With Honesty in Your Relationships Read More »…

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A New Way to Look at Differences in Relationships 6:31

22 weeks temu6:31

6:31

Hi, Phil and Maude here. We had a conversation the other evening about a different way to respond to the variance between each of us. We like, recorded it on a phone and, um, kind of cleaned it up a … A New Way to Look at Differences in Relationships Read More »

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How It’s Possible to Practice Acceptance in Your Relationships 5:22

23 weeks temu5:22

5:22

MAUDE: One of the many things that happened this week was a visit from a very dear friend, who stayed with us for over a week. This visit was profound, yet simple and easy at the same time. It gave … How It’s Possible to Practice Acceptance in Your Relationships Read More »

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How to Remove Tension and Find Peace in Your Relationships 6:08

24 weeks temu6:08

6:08

PHIL: We had a couple of heart-to-heart conversations this week; one about desires on my part, and one about the desires of Maude. I don’t want to describe them because they both involved other people, and the point of mentioning … How to Remove Tension and Find Peace in Your Relationships Read More »…

1
How to Embrace Differences, Not Trip Over Them 6:19

25 weeks temu6:19

6:19

PHIL: I want to jam on the idea that all people are different. No one is exactly like anyone else. So in your relationships, especially the close ones, you’re going to run into differences. They’re inevitable. The fact that the … How to Embrace Differences, Not Trip Over Them Read More »

1
It’s Important to Know You Can Choose Peaceful Relationships 5:26

26 weeks temu5:26

5:26

MAUDE: In our post last week, we wrote about the struggles we have all been going through in the tense situation before this country’s election, the raging wars in the world, climate change, and the overall uncertainty and anxiety caused … It’s Important to Know You Can Choose Peaceful Relationships Read More »…

1
How Your Peaceful Relationships Are a Shelter From the Storm 4:50

27 weeks temu4:50

4:50

We share an inner peace that is beyond any of the effects of the changing world we live in. This path of peace never wavers and serves to strengthen our individual struggles. Find and create a Sacred Space for yourself. Read more ›

1
Why is Being Honest so Important in Your Relationships? 5:18

28 weeks temu5:18

5:18

Speaking directly doesn’t happen naturally because we all create a persona for the outside world. It’s easy to take that feeling into a relationship, but here’s why that is a bad idea: it’s a limitation on feeling our full self; we cannot sit comfortably at the center of our being. Read more ›

1
What We Have Learned About Peace And Harmony Through Our Relationship 6:30

29 weeks temu6:30

6:30

Today is our wedding anniversary and it brought us to reflect on what we have learned about the potentials of all relationships from the experience of ours. Here are our musings on just that for our blog this week. Read more ›

1
Peace in a Relationship—How Can it Change the World? 5:05

30 weeks temu5:05

5:05

Yesterday was The International Day of Peace. It’s a great time to think of what you are doing within your own life to make peace a living reality. Here’s an example of one of our favorite projects: I Declare World … Peace in a Relationship—How Can it Change the World? Read More »

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How Honesty Leads to Trust in Your Relationships 5:03

31 weeks temu5:03

5:03

One of the steps to a peaceful relationship is honesty. When you share honestly with another, you set aside fears and defenses. You can share a bit and when you are accepted and respected, when you feel seen and heard, you dare to open a bit more. Read more ›

1
Make Service a Core Value in Your Relationships 5:03

32 weeks temu5:03

5:03

One of the signs of a peaceful relationship is when the element of service to the other person is a core value for that relationship. Learning what this is takes paying attention to the other person, and being open to listen and hear what they might need or want for support. Read more ›

1
Why It’s Important to Be Fully Present in Your Relationships 5:25

33 weeks temu5:25

5:25

Every relationship feels entirely different when you are truly present in it. This difference can be recognized by both parties, whether consciously or unconsciously. When you have the experience of each person being present, many of the fears that people bring to relationships dissolve. Read more ›

1
How to Experience Peace in Your Relationships 7:37

34 weeks temu7:37

7:37

The most important element to creating and maintaining peaceful relationships is that both people share peace as a central Core Value. This is not having thoughts of peace in some theoretical sense; it is experiencing peace as a visceral reality. Read more ›

1
3 Things That Every Person Wants in Their Relationships 5:20

35 weeks temu5:20

5:20

Most relationships will blossom when they have acceptance, appreciation and acknowledgment as an underpinning. In any relationship, it is important to be accepted for who we are, to be appreciated for who we are, and to be acknowledged for who we are. Read more ›

1
Why It’s Important to Support Each Other in Your Relationships 3:50

36 weeks temu3:50

3:50

The extent to which you have a feeling of support in your relationships will determine your sense of calm, serenity and peace. It consists of both giving and receiving. There is joy in this sense of mutual support. Read more ›

1
It’s Important to Feel the Connection in Your Relationships 5:00

37 weeks temu5:00

5:00

All too often, people become so used to the contact and connection in their relationships that they start to take them for granted. You stop really noticing the experience of that connection; how it makes you feel, why you treasure it, why it’s so important. Read more ›

1
How to Find Peace and Hope Through Your Relationships 5:14

38 weeks temu5:14

5:14

Watch for the dangers we all face every day of succumbing to doubt, loss of hope, or just plain tiredness. Turn to your relationships. Listen to the quiet and strength of hope you can find within yourself and each other. Read more ›

1
Why It’s Important to Speak Your Feelings in Relationships 5:32

39 weeks temu5:32

5:32

Speaking your position that has two benefits. The fact of putting it into words makes it much clearer, and the more specific the words are the clearer you can be. And having spoken it, you can start to move past it. Read more ›

1
How Tone of Voice Creates Peace in Your Relationships 6:08

40 weeks temu6:08

6:08

Peaceful relationships can come down to whether or not you speak with respect, love and kindness in your tone of voice and basic attitude, as this kind of communication creates an environment of calm, openness and comfort. Read more ›

1
How to Handle Discord in Your Relationship 5:07

41 weeks temu5:07

5:07

You know the feeling of being at odds with another person? Don't go there in the first place, and if you're in there, get out. Don’t just look at what the other person is doing; look at what you are doing, too. Focus on finding a resolution that works for both of you. Read more ›

1
Peaceful Relationships Really Do Exist: Make Yours One Of Them 5:45

42 weeks temu5:45

5:45

We have a direct experience of a peaceful relationship, we’ve had it since our early days, and it has remained completely consistent. It is so different from our previous relationships that we feel compelled to write about it. Our message is that it exists, therefore it is possible. Read more ›

1
How Trust and Peace go Hand in Hand in Your Relationships 4:36

43 weeks temu4:36

4:36

Trust comes from openness and sharing, being interested in who the other person is, interacting without being defensive, wishing the best possible outcome for each other, and coming from love, not fear. Read more ›

1
How To Avoid Relationship Conflicts With One Little Word

44 weeks temu

—

When you are in a conflict, stop, center yourself, breathe, and ask yourself what is important here. This pulls you into the present and gives you the opportunity to stop being reactive, and instead, choose a better way to respond. Read more ›

1
No, Conflict is Not Inevitable in Your Relationships!

45 weeks temu

—

It is a common belief that conflicts are inevitable even in the most loving of relationships, but when the underlying needs are examined, it is nearly always possible to find a mutual solution. Read more ›

1
Make Sure You Pay Attention to Your Relationships

46 weeks temu

—

The sense of loving connection between two people is the heart of every relationship. It is important to take the time to feel and recognize the connection, and to develop the sense of what makes each one precious and unique in its own way. Read more ›

1
The More Honesty, The Better Your Relationships

47 weeks temu

—

Why aren’t people totally honest with each other? Maybe they think it will cause strife in the relationship. But strife isn’t the only reason for not being honest; shame is, too. There is something you are uncomfortable sharing, but you need to regard honesty as more important than shame. Read more ›…

1
Why It’s Important to be Present in Your Relationships 4:56

48 weeks temu4:56

4:56

When you are in the present with another person, it is a palpable experience. You can strongly feel when someone is actually there with you, just as you can feel when they are not. Share your inner life with the other person for the best possible relationship. Read more ›

1
How to Strengthen Your Relationships with Appreciation and Acknowledgment 4:43

49 weeks temu4:43

4:43

The importance of letting people know you see and appreciate them carries into all encounters. You can make a person’s day just by saying thank you or smiling at them. It doesn’t take much effort and makes a world of difference. Read more ›

1
How To Fix The World Through Our Relationships 7:33

50 weeks temu7:33

7:33

The more you have the experience of peace, the living experience of it, the more you will be attracted to it. It is such an exquisite sensation that it’s very attractive. The more you experience it, the more you know the path to get to that place. Read more ›

1
Why Respect is Important for a Happy, Loving Relationship 5:45

51 weeks temu5:45

5:45

We show respect by the way we treat each other: by our tone of voice, our willingness to listen, to accept the inevitable differences of personality and behavior. We show it by our love and our kindness; by the empathy we feel and the warmth, safety and comfort we give. Read more ›

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It’s Not About You; Avoid Misunderstandings In Your Relationships