How do I stop comparing myself to others?

Ask Kati Anything

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton offers some ways that we can stop comparing ourselves to others, what our dreams are telling us, and how to overcome perfectionism. She then discusses brainwashing and overcoming emotional abuse, why we can get emotional when we think of talking to our therapist, and the reasons we can be attracted to older people.Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 234 | Audience questions: 1. How can I stop comparing myself to others? Whenever I socialize with others, I'm reminded of how weak I am for not being able to endure the difficulties of life while others are constantly faced with problems from all aspects of their lives. For context, I'm unemployed but fortunately I still live with my parents and they are still able to provide for me. I know I should be grateful that everything around me seems to be good but I just can't. I feel like I don't deserve this and I should be miserable for being "lazy". I know I'm being hard on myself but that is what's going on in my mind. Any insight would be very helpful. 2. Hi Kati, I have multiple dreams over the night these days. Some are very vivid, which makes me wonder if there are important meanings to those dreams. When would it be appropriate to consider a dream as it is telling you something/giving meaning to your subconscious mind and belief?? 3. I would love a video about overcoming perfectionism. My therapist said it’s pretty common with those of us who have CPTSD. 4. Hi Kati, growing up, I was told by my adoptive parents that I was always so susceptible to brainwashing whenever I had an opinion that didn't align with theirs (meaning others had brainwashed me to think differently from them). I'm now in therapy to try and work through the CPTSD I have due to my abusive upbringing (severe emotional neglect as well as physical and psychological abuse). The problem now is that I can not bring myself to trust what my therapist is telling me because all I hear at the back of my mind is how susceptible I am to brainwashing. It doesn't matter how my therapist words things, it still feels like he is trying to brainwash me. I realize my brain needs rewiring, but how can we go about it when every fiber of my being is resisting it due to what I was told growing up? 5. Why do I get so emotional when I think of talking to my therapist…before I’ve even spoken to her? Just thinking about talking freaks me out. Also, why is it when someone then validates that I’m stressed about talking, do I suddenly feel fine and like I’m being dramatic? Every time I try to talk this happens and I’m not sure what to do because I don’t want to mention it to my counselor because it feels silly. Thanks again6. Hi Kati! This is a really weird one and tbh I feel really embarrassed about it. What is the psychology behind being attracted to older people? I am a girl and am attracted to much older women (even though I don't think I am gay). I mean like in their 30s and I'm under 20. I could see how this sounds attachment related but I have had the best childhood and my relationship with my mom is great. I don't like any girls my own age in that way, only boys. Is this just a kink or something else?

ARTICLE CITED Disturbed Dreaming in Medical Conditions

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