Talking to Someone about Their Mental Health

Life in Relationship

Topic: How do I talk to someone I love who is struggling with their mental health?

Intro: Changing stigma towards mental health

Step 1 - changing our beliefs

Step 2 - changing our actions related to beliefs

2019 APA survey:

https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2019/05/mental-health-survey

1. What is my relationship with this person? (4:30)

• Relationship = vulnerability + boundaries
• Where are they at? Consider the person’s willingness to have the conversation
• Can they see the concerns or are they mostly unaware?
• Use the phrase – “I’ve noticed” or “Have you noticed…”
• Start with culturally normative symptoms or what might be easiest from them to hear
• Shift our own understanding about mental health as part of everyone’s everyday life

2. Get some info for yourself

• Nami - https://nami.org/Support-Education
• and Mental Health First Aid and Fresh Hope groups
• recognize our own anxieties about mental health
• Mental Health First Aid: https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/take-a-course/find-a-course/
• Determining a crisis v. non-crisis situation

QPR training for suicide prevention:

https://qprinstitute.com/individual-training

• Concerns about suicide: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

3. Consider your language and your relationship with your own mental health (18:00)

• Do not make assumptions
• Ask lots of questions
• Use a tone of respect
• People are more responsive when we are willing to deal with our own stuff
• Be authentic in our own struggles
• The struggle isn’t usually the same intensity forever

4. Have some resources ready and check back in (23:30)

• Hotline resources - https://www.rainn.org/

https://www.crisistextline.org/text-us/

https://www.thehotline.org/ for family and relationship violence

211 – basic resources local to you

• look up some local therapists

therapist search on Heidi’s website: https://heidigoehmann.com/connect

• Combat veteran resources and info around trauma

Normalizing combat trauma - https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/common/common_veterans.asp

Find an EMDR therapist - https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/

Get your own therapy if they are resistant (or if they aren’t)

• books –

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone - https://amzn.to/3EXYkhV

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Workbook - https://amzn.to/3HPMpEL

Soul of Shame - https://amzn.to/3pViWTK

Daring Greatly - https://amzn.to/3zwOpPw

Fresh Hope Workbook - https://amzn.to/3faK0YV

Fresh Hope website - https://freshhope.us/

Loving Someone Series –

PTSD - https://amzn.to/34oRh5s

Bipolar - https://amzn.to/3zsYEnK

ADHD - https://amzn.to/3mYkmuY

5. Don’t forget boundaries for yourself with compassion

Mental health page at heidigoehmann.com - https://heidigoehmann.com/mental-health-1

Relationship page at heidigoehmann.com - https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Short Answer: There is no perfect way to have the conversation - start somewhere, with a resource and a single awkward conversation.