Letting Go of Control: Parenting Older Kids

Life after Kids with Drs. Brooke and Lynne

Is there anything that keeps a mom of grown kids up more at night than worrying about whether you prepared them enough to be independent in the world?

This is an issue for so many of us and let’s face it, “mom guilt” is real, so, in this episode of Life after Kids we’re diving into the often-challenging journey of parenting older kids and the process of letting go of the controls as they transition into adulthood. Dr. Brooke shares a personal story that sparks a rich and relatable discussion about family values that parents hope to instill in their children, and we take an insightful look at the expectations and uncertainties that surface when children leave the nest, especially focusing on how young adults manage their own spaces once they're no longer under the watchful eye of their parents.

Key Takeaways:

• Letting go of control is a natural and necessary part of parenting older children as they become independent adults.
• Parents may discover that the standards and values they modeled, rather than enforced, can have a lasting impact on their children.
• It's important for parents to release guilt and have trust in the upbringing they've provided, acknowledging that children grow into their own with time.
• Observing and understanding each child's unique strengths and differences is crucial for supportive parenting that fosters self-confidence.
• The way parents interact with and speak about their children can greatly affect sibling relationships and dynamics within the family.

Picking your battles was so important when the kids were little, and it may be even more important now that they’re grown. Remember to lead by example, and model behavior rather than incessantly directing it. As moms of older kids, we must nurture, guide, and allow our children to carve out their own path, while embracing their unique qualities. Learn more by listening to today’s full episode of Life after Kids with Drs. Brooke and Lynne.

Timestamp Summary
0:02:47 | Dr. Brooke shares her personal story about her son's cleaning habits.
0:07:28 | Dr. Brooke advises to pick your battles and lead by example rather than constantly nagging your children.
0:09:33 | The influence of environment and the importance of encouraging children to raise their standards.
0:17:11 | Dr. Brooke emphasizes the importance of leading by example in parenting
0:18:42 | Dr. Lynne introduces the idea that self-confidence as a parent can affect how we view our children's habits
0:20:19 | The importance of recognizing and valuing each child's unique experience
0:23:47 | Validate and affirm your children's uniqueness.
0:24:41 | Observe your children and identify their strengths.
0:26:07 | Pray for your children's relationships with each other.
0:26:51 | Speak to your children about embracing their differences.
0:28:33 | Celebrate and validate differences in your family.
0:29:44 | Avoid pitting your children against each other.
0:32:40 | Focus on strengths and what's right about people.
0:34:05 | Let go of mom guilt and shame.
0:34:22 | Be the adult you want your child to become.

Enjoy the show, and we hope you learn a little bit more about living a fulfilling, vibrant, and meaningful Life after Kids!
If you like what you hear please rate and review the podcast, hit subscribe, and pass it along to a friend.
Making tomorrow even better than today,
Dr. Brooke and Dr. Lynne
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